Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee (UYCNs)

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Basisdaten
Gemeinde:
Verbandszugehörigkeit: , ,
OeSV-Nummer: 2
Adresse: Seegelände 1
7100
Telefonnummer: +43 2167 8803 (Clubhaus),
+43 2167 8668 (Regattabüro)
Fax: +43 2167 3364
Offizielle Website:
E-Mail-Adresse:

Inhaltsverzeichnis

  • 2 Geschichte
  • 3 Wetterstation UYCNs
  • 4 Siehe auch

Der Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee ist der zweitgrößte Yachtclub Österreichs . Das Clubgelände umfasst etwa vier Hektar und liegt in der Stadtgemeinde Neusiedl am See im Burgenland , am nördlichen Ufer des Neusiedlersees. Der Club hat etwa 550 Mitglieder.

Der UYCNs wurde am 17. Jänner 1927 gegründet. Die Wurzeln des Clubs reichen aber bis in das Jahr 1880 zurück, als der englische Segelpionier Edward Drory von der alten Donau, wo er den heutigen UYC-Stammverein gründete, an den Neusiedlersee übersiedelte.

Wetterstation UYCNs

Am UYCNs ist eine WebCam installiert, deren Bilder auf der Clubhomepage abrufbar sind. Zusätzlich sind auch aktuelle Wetterinformationen verfügbar.

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EurILCA Master Austria

Regatta Informations

This regatta will be organized by the Wettfahrtorganisation UYCNs .

Entry Fee120.00€ (EUR)Late Entry Fee140.00€ (EUR)Entry Closing DateTue 14th of May
Entry Address
Race office openingThu 13th of June , 16:00 Race office closing TBA
First RaceFri 14th of June , 12:00Last RaceSun 16th of June , 15:00 N° of Races9
Social events
Insurance Requirements

All competitors shall be insured with valid third party liability insurance with a minimum cover of € 2,000,000 (2 millions Euros) per event or equivalent there of in any other currency.

Club Details

Wettfahrtorganisation UYCNs, Seegelände 4, 1011 Neusiedl am See Austria

union yacht club neusiedlersee

Email: [email protected] Tel: 0664/2182161

About Neusiedl am See, Austria

Boat Landing Area and Facilities:

Launching and Landing Area is all inside the club, close to the sanitary facilities

Local Facilities:

The facilities of UYCNs are free available for guests which are registered for a regatta in the UYCNs. 

If you arrive prior to the event please inform us obligatory that our harbormaster is available.

For regatta guests arriving by camper or caravan there is a campsite with a limited number of parking spaces in front of the club, as well as sanitary facilities. https://www.neusiedlamsee.at/en/tourismus/

Average Wind & Weather Conditions:

The common wind directions are northwest and south wind. Both can be strong.

Local Tourist Information

https://www.neusiedlamsee.at/en/tourismus/

Accommodation

Camping on the property is not possible. It is possible to camp in front of the sailing club but registration is necessary https://www.neusiedlamsee.at/tourismus/zimmersuche#/unterkuenfte/BGL/7cf8921f-dce8-47b7- aa1a-551340cfcc24/stellplatz--am-hafen--neusiedl-am-see?useDetailSearch=false

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how to describe a slap in creative writing

Writing Beginner

How to Show Anger in Writing (13 Fiery Tips + Examples)

Expressing anger in writing is all about striking the right chord without losing your melody.

Here’s a deep dive into making your words burn with intensity, yet not scorch the essence of your narrative.

Whether you’re penning a novel, dishing out a blog, or scripting for screens, these 13 fiery tips—punctuated with examples—will stoke your creative flames. Let’s ignite your stories!

Here’s how to show anger in writing.

1) Know the Spectrum of Anger

 Fiery anger streaming from a man in the dark -- How to show anger in writing

Table of Contents

Anger isn’t one-size-fits-all. It ranges from simmering annoyance to volcanic eruptions.

Recognizing this spectrum in your writing adds depth and realism.

I’ve written angry characters many times in my short stories and novels l– such as in my Past Lives series.

  • Subtle Irritation : Characters might use short, clipped sentences. Their annoyance bubbles under the surface, revealed through terse dialogue or brisk actions.
  • Blazing Rage : Here, descriptions become more intense. Language is vivid, possibly chaotic, mirroring the turmoil of unbridled anger.

Example : Compare “She was irritated by his lateness” to “Each tick of the clock was a hammer to her patience, her irritation boiling into a tempest with every wasted minute.”

2) Show the Anger, Don’t Tell the Anger

Telling readers a character is angry is one thing; showing them through actions, body language, and dialogue is another.

This approach breathes life into your scenes.

  • Body Language : Clenched fists, narrowed eyes, and stiff posture are classic indicators.
  • Actions : Actions speak louder than words. A character slamming a door or shattering a glass captures anger vividly.
  • Dialogue : Sharp, biting dialogue can convey anger more effectively than descriptions of feelings.

Example : “Her words were ice, each syllable a dagger cloaked in venom.”

3) Use Sensory Details

Engage the senses to make your readers feel the anger.

Describe the physical sensations of anger in your character or setting.

  • Sound : Raised voices, heavy breathing, or the crunch of breaking objects.
  • Sight : The flush of cheeks, the lightning of a storm brewing in someone’s eyes.
  • Touch : The heat of flushed skin, the tension in the air.

Example : “The room seemed to pulse with his rage, air thick as if charged with electricity, every breath a struggle against the storm within.”

4) Vary Sentence Structure

Anger can disrupt the flow of thoughts, leading to fragmented sentences or, conversely, long, run-on sentences as thoughts spiral out of control.

  • Short, Choppy Sentences : Indicate quick, sharp thoughts or actions.
  • Long, Unwinding Sentences : Show a buildup of anger, a mind racing faster than words can follow.

Example : “Stop. Just—stop. Words like bullets, thoughts a jumbled mess. He couldn’t—wouldn’t—listen.”

5) Use Fiery Metaphors and Similes

Comparisons can powerfully convey anger, painting vivid pictures in the reader’s mind.

  • Metaphors : Describe anger as a wildfire, a storm, a beast.
  • Similes : Anger like a thorn in one’s side, as volatile as a chemical reaction.

Example : “His anger was a tornado, indiscriminate in its destruction.”

6) Incorporate Internal Monologue

Internal monologues allow readers inside a character’s head, providing a firsthand look at their anger.

  • Thoughts vs. Reality : Contrast what a character thinks with what they say or do.
  • Rationalization : Characters may justify their anger to themselves, offering deeper insight.

Example : “In his mind, he was justified, each reason a brick in the fortress of his rage.”

7) Leverage Dialogue Tags and Action Beats

Dialogue tags and action beats can subtly indicate anger, adding dynamism to conversations.

  • Tags : Use verbs like “snapped,” “hissed,” or “growled” sparingly for impact.
  • Action Beats : Intersperse dialogue with actions that show anger.

Example : “‘Fine,’ he growled, the word more an animal snarl than a human response.”

8) Choose Your Words Carefully

The right words can make or break the intensity of a scene.

Opt for strong, vivid vocabulary that conveys the heat of anger.

  • Adjectives and Verbs : Select those that pack an emotional punch.
  • Avoid Clichés : Fresh, innovative descriptions keep readers engaged.

Example : “Each accusation was a venom-tipped arrow, words meant to wound.”

9) Reflect Anger in the Setting

The setting can mirror a character’s emotions, enhancing the mood.

  • Weather : Storms, wind, or oppressive heat can parallel anger.
  • Environment : A room might feel smaller, claustrophobic, as tension mounts.

10) Use Pacing to Build Tension

Pacing is crucial in portraying anger. Slow buildups can lead to explosive confrontations, while rapid escalations can underscore a character’s volatile nature.

  • Build Tension Slowly : Let the anger simmer, building it through subtle cues before it boils over.
  • Quick Escalation : Sudden outbursts can shock and engage readers, showcasing the unpredictability of rage.

Example : “The silence that filled the room was the calm before the storm, an ominous quiet that preceded the eruption of his pent-up fury.”

11) Explore the Roots of Anger

Understanding and conveying why a character is angry adds layers to your narrative. It makes their anger relatable and justified, even if the readers don’t agree.

  • Backstory : Brief glimpses into the character’s past can illuminate the roots of their anger.
  • Triggers : Identify what sparks anger in your character. Is it a word, an action, or a memory?

Example : “Old wounds were tender, and the mere mention of his father was a lit match to the kindling of his unresolved anger.”

12) Address the Aftermath of Anger

The consequences of anger can be as important as its expression. Addressing the aftermath adds realism and depth.

  • Reflection : Characters might reflect on their anger, experiencing regret, justification, or even pride.
  • Impact on Relationships : Anger can forge new bonds, strain existing ones, or break ties altogether.

Example : “In the quiet that followed his storm, he was left to survey the wreckage of words unsaid and bridges burned.”

13) Infuse Empathy into Angry Characters

Readers should understand, if not sympathize with, your angry characters.

By infusing empathy into your portrayal, you make their anger meaningful rather than off-putting.

  • Humanize : Show vulnerable moments or justified reasons behind their anger.
  • Consequences : Demonstrate awareness of their actions’ impact, adding layers to their character.

Example : “Behind his furious facade lay a quivering fear, a dread that his anger was all that kept the world at bay.”

Bonus Tip: Edit Anger with Precision

Once you’ve drafted your fiery prose, refining your depiction of anger is key. Editing allows you to ensure that the anger serves the story and character development.

  • Balance : Ensure anger doesn’t overshadow other emotions or narrative elements.
  • Consistency : Keep characters’ reactions in line with their development and backstory.

Example : “He reined in his temper, channeling the inferno within into a focused beam of determination.”

Here is a good video about how to show anger in writing:

Showing Anger in Special Circumstances

Below is a table that pairs various contexts with suggestions on how to describe or show the specific form of anger relevant to each situation.

ContextDescription of Anger
Road RageIntense, explosive. Characters’ thoughts race, possibly cursing under their breath, gripping the steering wheel tightly, honking aggressively. Descriptions can focus on the rapid heartbeat, flushed face, and tense body language.
Anger in a RelationshipComplex, simmering. Focus on silent treatments, cold glares, terse words, and the physical distance created. Describe internal turmoil and the struggle between heartache and fury.
Workplace DisagreementsControlled, seething. Characters may use formal language, with anger leaking through tight smiles, clenched jaws, or pointed emails. The tension is palpable but cloaked in professionalism.
Anger at InjusticeRighteous, impassioned. Descriptions can focus on characters channeling their anger into activism, speeches, or passionate debates. Body language is open and confrontational, eyes ablaze.
Parental AngerFrustrated, disappointed. Show this through deep sighs, pauses in speech, and efforts to remain calm. Descriptions might include the struggle to balance love and discipline.
Jealousy-Driven AngerBitter, resentful. Characters might stew in their emotions, making snide remarks or engaging in passive-aggressive behavior. Their internal monologue can reveal the depth of their envy and bitterness.
Betrayal-Induced AngerShocked, vengeful. Focus on the initial disbelief transitioning into a cold, calculating anger. Actions are deliberate, aiming to confront or expose the betrayal.
Anger Over Personal FailureSelf-directed, ashamed. Descriptions can highlight internal dialogue filled with self-criticism, actions like withdrawing from others, or physical expressions like punching a wall in frustration.
Fear-Induced AngerDefensive, erratic. Characters may lash out unpredictably, their anger a mask for deep-seated fears. Descriptions can focus on erratic movements, defensive postures, and attempts to push others away.
Grief-Related AngerVolatile, sorrowful. Show characters oscillating between sadness and anger, with outbursts that may seem disproportionate to the immediate situation. Highlight the underlying pain and confusion.
Angry ChildInnocent, confused. Focus on the child’s inability to fully articulate their feelings, leading to tantrums, crying, or retreating. Describe their expressions, tone of crying, and physical gestures like stamping feet or clenching fists.

Anger Across Genres: Three Scene Examples

Anger, a universal emotion, takes on unique shades in different genres.

Each of the following scenes illustrates how to weave anger into narratives, from the raw intensity of a thriller, the complex dynamics of a family drama, to the shadowed corridors of a fantasy saga.

Thriller: The Chase

Detective Lara Hale’s heartbeat thumped in her ears, mirroring the rhythm of her pounding footsteps on the rain-slick pavement.

Her breath formed misty clouds in the cold night air as she pursued the silhouette darting through the maze of alleyways. “Stop!” she bellowed, her voice laced with a fury fueled by months of dead ends and tonight’s near miss. The frustration of the chase, the anger at the faceless figure always slipping through her fingers, surged through her veins like fire. –

Each stride was powered by a cocktail of adrenaline and rage, the kind that blurred the lines between justice and vengeance. As she rounded the corner, the suspect stumbled, and Lara’s anger morphed into a predatory smile. This time, she vowed, there would be no escape.

Family Drama: The Broken Vase

The crash of the vase breaking echoed through the hallways of the Thompson household, a sound far too familiar yet always jarring. Margaret stood frozen, shards of glass scattered at her feet like crystal tears, the roses they once held wilted by the tension in the air.

“Jonathan, I—” she began, only to be cut off by Jonathan’s towering presence at the doorway. “Another one, Margaret? Really?” His voice was a low simmer, disappointment etching deeper furrows in his brow. This wasn’t just about the vase, or the many before it. It was about unspoken grievances, the kind that festered. Margaret’s hands trembled, not from the cold but from the rising tide of frustration.

“Maybe if you listened for once—” she snapped back, her voice cracking like the vase, her anger a reflection of years of feeling unheard, unseen. In the debris of their marriage, anger was the only thing that still dared to bloom.

Fantasy: The Duel

In the heart of the Eldritch Forest, under a canopy of whispering leaves, Sir Elden faced his betrayer, Lord Draven. The air was thick with ancient magic, the ground sacred and soaked with the blood of legends. “You dare challenge me in the lands of my ancestors?” Draven’s voice boomed, a thunderous declaration laced with dark power.

Elden’s response was a quiet storm, his anger not loud but deep, an abyss from which there was no return. “For the kingdom, for my sister, I will end this,” he declared, drawing his sword, a blade forged from starfire and vengeance. The duel was not just a clash of steel but of wills, a dance of fury and finesse. Elden’s every move was fueled by a righteous anger, a burning desire to restore balance and honor.

As the swords met, sparks flew, illuminating the forest with the light of their rage, a testament to the fact that some battles were driven by a love so fierce, it could only be expressed through anger.

Final Thoughts: How to Show Anger in Writing?

Portraying anger in writing demands a blend of finesse, empathy, and strategic storytelling.

By employing these 13 tips, you’ll be able to weave complex tapestries of emotion that resonate with readers and enrich your narratives. Remember, anger, when used judiciously, can illuminate characters’ depths, propel plots, and engage readers on a primal level.

Now, armed with these strategies, set your pages ablaze—metaphorically, of course.

Related Posts:

  • How To Show Annoyance In Writing? (13 Cranky Ways)
  • How To Show Surprise In Writing (250+ Examples & Words)
  • How to Show Happiness in Writing (100+ Ways & Examples)
  • How to Describe a Greedy Person in Writing (21 Best Tips)
  • How to Describe a Brave Person in Writing (21 Tips + Examples)

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How Do You Write A Satisfying Face-Slapping Scene?

Discussion in ' Author Discussions ' started by xinister , Mar 30, 2019 .

  • face-slapping

xinister

xinister Active Member

Just as the title says, what are some dos and donts of writing face-slapping scenes? I'm really struggling here T_T  

Lukha

Lukha Well-Known Member

For me, a good face slap scene has to be done at a good time. It has be a well-deserved face slap! I think for me, I want to be able to envision a good face slap, so I like details! Such as knowing how the face slap felt ; was it a crisp slap? A hard slap? A cold slap? A head-turning slap? Did it cause the other person's cheek to burn? Then I want to know how the person felt about receiving the face slap. Were they embarrassed? Was it humiliating? Did it hurt? Etc. Honestly, I find myself enjoying most face-slapping scenes when I'm like "OOOF That person really deserved it! About time!"  

Feng Tian

Feng Tian Well-Known Member

If THIS is a problem for you then you have way worse issues to deal with... Also: Rule of thumb is: The more despicable the target the better the roast.  

tak

tak ignorant but well-meant

Lukha said: ↑ Honestly, I find myself enjoying most face-slapping scenes when I'm like "OOOF That person really deserved it! About time!" Click to expand...
Lukha said: ↑ For me, a good face slap scene has to be done at a good time. It has be a well-deserved face slap! I think for me, I want to be able to envision a good face slap, so I like details! Such as knowing how the face slap felt ; was it a crisp slap? A hard slap? A cold slap? A head-turning slap? Did it cause the other person's cheek to burn? Then I want to know how the person felt about receiving the face slap. Were they embarrassed? Was it humiliating? Did it hurt? Etc. Honestly, I find myself enjoying most face-slapping scenes when I'm like "OOOF That person really deserved it! About time!" Click to expand...
If you have issues getting a face slap done you fail to convey emotions (and you probably lack a bit in sheer knowledge). Readers will simply feel little for your characters, be they enemy or protagonist.  
xinister said: ↑ So would you say its after the "antagonist" or cannon-fodder has pushed the main character to a really bad extent, that it would be the most satisfying? Would face-slapping for small events be satisfying or just too rushed? Click to expand...

:blob_coffee:

ATrueStory Villainesses, Historical Shit, Noble Circuses

tak said: ↑ yeah, frustrate your reader. Can be from how stupid/evil the enemy is. But tbh, if the same person has been slapped so many times but is still coming back for more, i will be like "eugh the roach is here again" and will get frustrated with mc, not antagonist. Click to expand...
ATrueStory said: ↑ Coz MCs are supposed to be the good guys. I don't really like Mary Sues so I'm in favor of MCs having a bad or 'despicable' trait or two. But most readers like a likable MC so, she has to be a Goody two shoes even she's already being harassed or duty. *sorry, my default for MCs are usually girls, hence the pronoun Click to expand...
Most chinese MCs are neutral at best, and walking disasters at worst. For every Richard you have a Leylin (and a dozen Yun Ches).  

batotit

batotit Well-Known Member

If no multiple teeth came flying after a slap, then that aint satisfying.  

Ddraig

Ddraig Frostfire Dragon|Retired lurker|FFF|Loved by RNG

Implied face slaps tend to be great too  

Gandire Alea

Gandire Alea [Wicked Awesome Translator]

how to describe a slap in creative writing

He stares down into her hate filled eyes. To her, he's nothing but a detestable insect. One that should be stomped on again and again. Then kicked aside. Everything that happened was because of her. Because of her, he lost her job, his fiance left him, and his mother died. She's so certain to her victory, that she made the mistake of coming forth to gloat. A loud crack echoes as her neck jerks to the side. She's pulled off her feet and falls face first into the muddy street.  

Aion Satria

Aion Satria Active Member

The silence between us lasted as a long instant, hazy in my memory, as the anger welled up in my chest. He was looking kinda dumb with his gaze of expectation, as if saying it as a joke made the words feel any better. I didn't expect anything different frankly, but that didn't make it any less regretful. The sharp snare drum of a punchline I made with his face certainly lightened the mood for me. I laughed and left his wide to eyes memorise the sight of my back, a final show of magnanimity for a man I'll never meet again willingly.  
Feng Tian said: ↑ If you have issues getting a face slap done you fail to convey emotions (and you probably lack a bit in sheer knowledge). Readers will simply feel little for your characters, be they enemy or protagonist. Click to expand...
tak said: ↑ i feel like small face slapping won't be satisfying, but it will reduce my frustration, so i can keep going. "Yeah, MC can be awesome too! Just you wait!". hmm depend on the antagonist. For example, a good rival is fine. They let each other grow. (Some shonen rival) sometimes the rival is the one that makes sure the protagonist don't give up. Typical josei antagonist, who scheme for mc to be raped, miscarriage, murdered, hated , suffer, etc multiple times and keep coming back? Why won't mc kill them or throw them to jail! Click to expand...
ATrueStory said: ↑ Yeah shows more on teh development of the MC rather than on the antagonist. Unless you have a shitty antagonist to boot. Coz MCs are supposed to be the good guys. I don't really like Mary Sues so I'm in favor of MCs having a bad or 'despicable' trait or two. But most readers like a likable MC so, she has to be a Goody two shoes even she's already being harassed or duty. *sorry, my default for MCs are usually girls, hence the pronoun Click to expand...

Xian Piete

Xian Piete Author of many mediocre stories

A good face slapping scene needs a few things: 1) A villain. It doesn't have to be a villain who is an ultimate embodiment of evil, they just have to be the target of the face slapping. Don't overlook the villain, it's not enough just to have a cliche, obvious blowhard, cardboard cutout target. A good villain makes or breaks the face slapping. Its best if the villain is arrogant and sure of his or her invincibility. 2) Witnesses. A face slapping is meaningless if there is no one there to see it. 3) The setup. Once you have a villain, now you need to create a situation in which your villain and your witnesses are certain that they will be victorious. 4) A protagonist or side character that is seen as weak. A good face slapping needs an underrated hero. The villain needs to be certain that this character is completely inferior. 5) The slap! Now that you have your setup, your witnesses, your villain and your hero it's time to let turn the tables on the villain. A good face slapping scene needs to contain a surprise turn around. The hero of your face slapping scene needs to act calm, cool and merciless. Let your hero win easily but not arrogantly. Let your witnesses pile on with taunts, comments or laughter while your hero just remains clam. Honestly though, I think if you really want to know how to write the best kind of face slapping you should first read Invisible Dragon. It's pretty much the bible of face slapping.  
xinister said: ↑ Ooo so mini-face slapping that eventually leads to the big one? Click to expand...
  • MC situation is still dire. He has face slapped the culprit, but 1 friend is still dying & another is dead
  • Got kicked out of school dormitory by culprit's friend subordinates
  • Still in front of the subordinates someone cone running "young master we bought a house for you"
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What adverb can I use to describe a slap that intends to get someone's attention?

"Listen to me," Samuel says, swatting the side of Cal's face '_____'.

It's not a playful or deliberately hurtful slap. It's somewhere in the middle - irritated. Considering the character's personalities, it's rather a gentle gesture for them but shocking enough to say 'get ahold of yourself!'

If not an adverb, how would you word this?

  • single-word-requests

Laurel's user avatar

  • gently is the term. –  Lambie Commented Dec 18, 2021 at 19:16

3 Answers 3

I agree with @YosefBaskin. A strong verb is better than an adverb or adjective. Swat, tap, slap, etc.

You can also phase it more suscinctly, e.g.

“Listen to me!” Samuel swatted Cal's cheek. “...

You're writing in the present tense (says vs said) which seems to be in vogue at the moment but is tricky to do because it can lead to writing that sounds like a laundry list of actions.

Another thing to consider is who your point of view character is. If it's Samuel or Cal, you have an opportunity to give internals as a way to convey what the intent of the slap was or how it was received.

Dr Xorile's user avatar

  • I think the verb "slap" best describes a blow designed to get attention or to chastise. "Swat" seems most commonly used either to hit an insect, a ball, or for an animal hitting with its paw; Merriam-Webster says of swat "to hit with a sharp slapping blow usually with an instrument (such as a bat or flyswatter)". –  Stuart F Commented Dec 20, 2021 at 16:41

Since the purpose of the slap is to to say Get ahold of yourself! or Snap out of it! , you could use an adverb that helps conveys this purpose and let the intensity be intuited from the purpose:

"Listen to me," Samuel says, swatting the side of Cal's face abruptly ."

abruptly (adv.)

In an abrupt manner: in a sudden and unexpected way He left abruptly. The car swerved abruptly onto the exit ramp. m-w

abrupt (adj.)

Characterized by or involving action or change without preparation or warning: sudden and unexpected m-w

DjinTonic's user avatar

The adverb " enticingly " might correspond to what you are lookinng for.

entice v.t. Persuade or attract by the offer of pleasure or advantage enticingly adv. in an enticing manner

LPH's user avatar

  • 1 I'm afraid that does not work at all... :( –  Greybeard Commented Nov 3, 2020 at 23:02
  • Agree with you, Mr. Greybeard. –  user403195 Commented Nov 4, 2020 at 4:05
  • Only a masochist would consider a slap to be 'enticing'. –  Cascabel_StandWithUkraine_ Commented Dec 23, 2020 at 17:47
  • @Cascabel I'm bound to agree, but here let us be careful and not fail to consider that it is what is joined to the slap (in particular words) which is aimed at the enticing (similar to shock therapy), if it is not a mere fake with the vicious intent of getting away with a slap . –  LPH Commented Dec 23, 2020 at 18:17
  • Well...there is the strike of the zen stick , the slap on the face for dealing with "hysterical" patients, the "get with it" smack on the face...consider this a 警策, a keisaku ... –  Cascabel_StandWithUkraine_ Commented Dec 23, 2020 at 19:21

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how to describe a slap in creative writing

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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

Helping writers become bestselling authors

How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain

February 9, 2017 by ANGELA ACKERMAN

The best thing about this online world of ours is you never know who you are going to meet. I don’t know about you, but one of the areas I struggle with is writing a character’s pain in a way that is raw, realistic…but not just “one-note.” So when I crossed paths with a paramedic-turned-writer, I got a little excited. And when she said she’d share her brain with us about the experience of pain, and how to write it authentically, I got A LOT excited. Read on, and make sure to visit Aunt Scripty’s links at the end. Her blog is full of more great medical info for writers.

Writing About Pain (Without Putting your Readers in Agony)

how to describe a slap in creative writing

Pain is a fundamental part of the human experience, which means that it’s a fundamental part of storytelling. It’s the root of some of our best metaphors, our most elegant writing. Characters in fiction suffer, because their suffering mirrors our own.

In good writing, physical suffering often mirrors emotional suffering. It heightens drama, raises the stakes, adds yet another hurdle for our hero to jump before they reach their glorious climax.

So why can reading about pain be so boring?

Consider the following (made-up) example:

The pain shot up her arm like fire. She cringed. It exploded in her head with a blinding whiteness. It made her dizzy. It made her reel. The pain was like needles that had been dipped in alcohol had been jammed through her skin, like her arm had been replaced with ice and electricity wired straight into her spine.

For your characters, at its worst the pain can be all-consuming.  For your readers, though, it can become a grind. Let’s be honest, you gave up reading that paragraph by the third sentence.

In another story, a character breaks his ribs in one scene, then has, uhhh, intimate moments with his Special Someone in the next. Where did the agony go‽

There’s a fine line to walk between forgetting your character’s pain, elucidating it, and over-describing it.

So I’m here today to give you a pain scale to work with, and provide some pointers on how to keep in mind a character’s injuries without turning off your readers.

How Much Does It Hurt? A Pain Scale for Writers

Minor/Mild: This is pain that your character notices but doesn’t distract them. Consider words like pinch, sting, smart, stiffness .

Moderate: This is pain that distracts your character but doesn’t truly stop them. Consider words like ache, throb, distress, flare .

Severe: This is pain your character can’t ignore. It will stop them from doing much of anything. Consider words like agony, anguish, suffering, throes, torment, stabbing .

Obliterating: This is the kind of pain that prohibits anything else except being in pain (and doing anything to alleviate it). Consider words like ripping, tearing, writhing .

Metaphors, of course, are going to play somewhere on this spectrum, but I would suggest picking one level of pain and targeting it. For instance, don’t  mix stinging with searing when finding a metaphor to build.

How Often Should We Remind Readers of a Character’s Pain?

how to describe a slap in creative writing

Most pain that matters in fiction isn’t a one-and-done kind of a deal. A gunshot wound should burn and itch and ache as it heals. A broken bone should send a jarring blast of lightning into the brain if that bone is jostled or hit.

Injuries need to have consequences. Otherwise, what’s the point?

There are three main ways to remind a reader of your character’s suffering: show them suffering, show them working around their suffering, and a third, more advanced, technique that I’ll mention in a moment.

If you want to show their pain, the easiest way is to tell : “her shoulder ached”; “she rubbed her aching shoulder”; “she rolled her shoulder subconsciously, trying to work out the aching stiffness” all convey what we want.

For frequency, try to limit those mentions to once per scene at the most, and perhaps as rarely as once per chapter.

However, we can choose something closer to the show route, by watching the character work around their injuries: “she opened the door awkwardly with her left hand to avoid the burn on her right”; “she led each step on the staircase with her good leg”; “Martin fiddled with his sling irritably”. That can be a little more frequent. It’s a reminder, but it’s also a small challenge that they’re solving before your very eyes. Huzzah!

For a breakdown of possible conflict scenarios that can lead to your character experiencing pain, go here .

One Final Technique: The Transmission of Agony

My best friend is a paramedic. She’s also had spinal fusion, has multiple slipped discs, and takes a boatload of pain medication. And yet I can see how much pain she’s in when we work together by the way she walks, talks, and carries herself.

Her pain isn’t constant. It changes . It ebbs and flows like the tide. It can be debilitating in one minute, bearable the next. So, too, can the agony of your characters:

“The agony had faded to a dull throb.”

“The pain in my shoulder ramped up the from stiffness all the way to searing, blinding agony faster than I could blink.” 

“ And, just when the pain was at its worst, it dissipated, like fog off some terrible lake .”

Go forth. Inflict suffering and woe upon your characters!

If I can offer one more piece of wisdom, it’s this: research the injury inflicted upon your character. At the very least, try to get a grasp on what their recovery might look like. It will add a level of realism to your writing that you simply can’t fake without it, and remind you that they should stay injured beyond the length of a scene.

how to describe a slap in creative writing

Looking for a deep dive on pain, and how to describe minor, major, mortal, invisible injuries and more? This series on How to Write About Pain is a huge help.

how to describe a slap in creative writing

Aunt Scripty is a veteran paramedic and author of the ScriptMedic blog at scriptmedicblog.com . In just three short months, her blog has attracted several thousand followers and accidentally started a writing advice blog revolution on Tumblr .

She lives in an undisclosed location with her beautiful wife and imaginary pibble, Steve, and can be found @scriptmedic on Twitter. If you’re not careful, she’ll sneak up on you in a dark alleyway and give you a free ebook .

TIP: To describe a character’s pain, visit this descriptive database :

how to describe a slap in creative writing

Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers , a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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Reader Interactions

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October 4, 2021 at 7:08 am

This post is so timely! One of my MC’s suffers with chronic pain from an automobile accident, and I am portraying him using several ways to alleviate it, such as opiates, alcohol, weed. He also has manic depression. Can you direct me to specific resources regarding how such a person “rehabs’? I have him entering a holistic facility, but I’m also wrestling with whether he can ever come off the other stuff completely. Because, they work, even if temporarily. I feel like pain mgt is so poorly understood and not done well for most folks. And the judgment! I have a pharmacist friend who was loathsome of people desperate to get their opiate scripts filled, calling them “street trash.” Any help portraying my guy accurately “healing” would be most appreciated!

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October 4, 2021 at 10:20 am

Hi, Ellen. I’m so glad this resource is helping you with your WIP. It sounds like you’re got a good handle on exactly what your character is suffering with, which is important for getting the information you need. To find that information, I would suggest speaking with a doctor. You can talk to your own physician the next time you go in or even put out a call on social media for doctors or nurses who might be willing to answer a few questions about your character’s situation. I’ve found that people love talking about what they do and their areas of specialty and as long as you’re respectful of their time, you can usually get a professional’s feedback for free.

Best of luck to you!

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March 10, 2021 at 10:19 am

Ok so my character is being tortured and she got kicked HARD in the chest but I can’t find a good verb to describe how she went back. I also can’t find a way to describe the pain she felt.

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November 29, 2021 at 3:45 pm

Probably start with her not recognizing the pain because of the Adrenaline and then explain how the pain escalates… “The pain exploded in her stomach; the dull ache turned into a searing pain” Just some stuff I’ve seen authors do.

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March 1, 2021 at 5:16 pm

I have a character that is badly beaten, (injuries consist of the standard bruises and cuts, she has a rather large gash over one eye, and has also been flogged. she has managed to escape her captors only to loose her footing in a pothole and fall to the ground, she cracks a rib in the process.) she is fortunate that a passer by finds her and takes the time out to clean her up ( he is a surgeon) my issue is describing the wounds as he treats her injuries. I’m trying not to put to much description here at this point as she feigns amnesia and he counters her lies with her injuries. i don’t want to repeat myself if that makes sense.

Many thanks in advance.

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February 3, 2021 at 2:30 am

My Character is being hunted by a man and finds out that its the same man that killed her mother. How do I describe the pain that this will cause her to feel?

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February 4, 2021 at 2:32 am

Now, I’m not a therapist, and what you’re talking about is an emotional wound more than anything. But you’re probably going to want to start with the processing of shock; denial and numbness to kick things off, as the brain struggles to even process the information Next, this is going to rip open any hurts surrounding that loss, which I’d expect she never got proper closure for in the first place if he’s still at large to keep hurting her/her family; that’ll mean a reliving of the grief, and whatever predominant emotions she has left around it (was she mainly angry at the loss? Did she blame the killer more, or did someone else’s choices put her mother in the killer’s path? Was she left lost and confused, did she feel trapped, were there any things she used to find pleasure in that lost their joy due to associations following the event?) your character’s primary coping mechanism? (Everyone has them, don’t lie.) Does she throw herself into projects looking for distractions? Does she get angry and lash out? Does she hide her hurts away from the world? Depending on how she’d normally handle such a horrifying discovery, the knowledge someone’s actively out to get her might deny her that small comfort, which will exasperate the issue even further. Finally, does she know what this killer wants? Do you? Why is he specifically after her? Why did he kill her mother? Can she hide in a crowd, or will reaching out put the people she cares about in danger? These questions should help you identify the TYPE of pain she’ll be feeling (boiling anger might keep the actual hurt at bay until the problem is dealt with, while self-imposed/protective loneliness can drive someone into a depressive spiral) from whence physical descriptions can be relatively easily found by looking up psych studies or other advice articles. (To stick with those two examples, anger is hot, clouds in the head and fists, can induce very similar symptoms of crying such as a tight throat or burning eyes; meanwhile, that kind of loneliness tends to be cold and clear-eyed, hard to choose but frightfully easy to maintain with a forced smile and a quick deflection, and leaves you feeling listless and hopeless while struggling alone.) It comes down really heavily to the type of person your character is, how she copes with adversity and how she copes with loss. No one but you is deep enough in her head to really know what kind of reaction this’ll induce in her, so no one but you can know what kind of reaction you should be describing. I’ve never been in the situation you’re describing, but I’ve dealt with several intentional deaths before (mostly suicides,) and looking around the room for weeks after the fact, not one person was processing the same emotions at any given point in time. Death and grief are messy, even more so when death and/or pain were the intended outcome of the events. And beyond the simple fear for one’s own life (which once again, everyone would deal with differently; both actually trigger fight-flight-freeze in us, grief just takes a brief stop at “oh shit, I feel vulnerable” before turning INTO fear on the way) those are the associated emotions she will have with this man.

February 4, 2021 at 9:06 am

I think MSF has answered your question nicely, Aldre. It truly does depend on the person (their personality, backstory, support system, what other difficulties they’re dealing with, etc.), since different people respond to the same wounding event differently. So doing the background work on your character to really get to know them is super important in figuring out their response.

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January 1, 2021 at 3:40 pm

quick Q: how would one care for a stab wound to the left side of the abdomen, directly under the ribs? its a classic fantasy setting, taking place in approximately the middle of the medieval age, and it is a healer treating them, i’m just not sure what exactly he would do, and other websites aren’t the most useful at the moment. thanks:)

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January 2, 2021 at 10:56 am

You might want to visit Scriptmedic’s site listed in the post as she has many different scenarios at her site which might help answer this question. 😉

January 3, 2021 at 2:13 am

thank you:)

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November 3, 2020 at 6:55 am

my characters have all gone through something that has changed them , the way they think , the way they do things and their judgment in general. but what I’m basically struggling to do is tell their stories in a way that relates to what the story is about which based on what my characters went through that caused them pain and in a way that will convince readers to want to continue reading and continue to want to get the readers to want to get to know each character better

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October 17, 2020 at 8:14 pm

I’m writing a story that sets the “Snow White” fairy tale in the modern world and in my version, she eats a candy apple laced with a paralytic drug. What should the actress be displaying upon ingesting it?

October 19, 2020 at 8:29 am

Hi, Marie. It’s good that you’re looking for ways to write this response accurately, since we always want our stories to read as realistic and authentic to readers. I’m unschooled in paralytic drugs and their effects, so you’ll need to research this. A Google search can get you started and help you find some credible sources. You also could talk to doctors own nurses who may be able to give you some good information. Good luck with your story!

June 21, 2020 at 10:09 pm

Here’s a problem I’ve run into:

Character A has been seriously injured in a hostile environment. Character B —a setting-appropriate medic/healer— discovers A and attempts to save A’s life. Functionally, this is a non-combative action scene (a short but vital moment, every choice and instinct raised to the highest stakes, no time/ability to get outside help, this is where the music-director in a movie puts the really intense bits of the score, etc) BUT as a writer, I now have to convey A’s injuries and B’s emergency examination/assessment, how/why this is such a big deal, the moment B chooses (consciously or not) to attempt to save A despite any/all risks, and at least a PORTION of how that treatment is applied, since, you know, the fight to save A’s life is the meat of the scene… without killing the pacing by stopping dead and becoming a textbook. Cutting away to A’s recovery, I’ve found, is good for building up B’s mysteriousness, but risks downplaying the injuries and leaving the audience confused about their repercussions (especially if B tries to comfort A by obfuscating just how serious it was.) Showing B’s struggle to save A’s life is a great character-defining moment for B and gives payoff to the initial trauma, but risks descending into jargon if the steps aren’t explained. Describing A’s injuries in detail really conveys the serious danger A is in, but also brings the momentum to a shrieking halt; keeping the injuries vague once again risks downplaying/confusion.

No one on the internet has written about this problem that I can find; it’s either advice on writing fight scenes, advice on writing injuries (even though emergency treatment is part of dealing with that, right?), or advice on writing actual medical documents.

Challenge modes include: • A is unconscious [and cannot contribute dialogue.] • A and B have never met [this is a character introduction scene.] • B’s healing abilities are beyond current science (either magical or tech,) and have their limits established/reinforced by this scene. [The audience must understand some basic rules of this ability by the end of the scene.] • Scene is from B’s perspective, [meaning B has experience/context the audience might not.] • This is one of your opening scenes, [so you don’t have much time for setting up context before it starts.]

BONUS ROUND! • Be a dumbass like me, and use all challenge modes at once! …Someone please help me…

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May 13, 2020 at 10:03 pm

How would you describe someone being in pain because someone they loved was hurting? I am basically transcribing a TV show for my blog/website and one character is being forced to listen to her grandmother dying (On tape) at the hands of a sadistic “Angel of death” They are both handcuffed to a poll so he’s frustrated he can’t physically save her and he’s screaming to get the guy to stop because he’s torturing the woman he loves and he can’t stop him. He just screamed for the angel of death to stop and my heart skipped a beat. It was just well done. He’s trying to get out of his handcuffs. I am not a writer, at all. I usually just transcribe and post screencaps but because this scene would be difficult to do that I am trying to describe what is going on and I don’t have the talent for that.lol Thanks 🙂

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May 4, 2020 at 3:33 pm

My character is an animatronic. He’s been captured and tortured by being destroyed and he barely has enough strength to stay conscious. How can I describe his pain?

Sorry if this isn’t a very good question.

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May 7, 2020 at 7:28 pm

I would say something along the lines where he could feel his metal structure being torn apart slowly. He probably would have dents in his structure if his body if fully metal. If he has fur/skin/feathers etc with blood and bodily organs like living animals, I would take notice on blood seeping out of wounds, as well as bruises. I’m not the best with animatronics hope this helped fellow writer 😀

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November 3, 2020 at 6:33 pm

Thank you! Yes, this helped a bunch!

(Sorry for the late reply-)

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March 17, 2020 at 2:52 am

How should I describe someone falling on their back?

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March 20, 2020 at 1:04 am

We talking falling from a height?

I’d say winded, it would probably take a few seconds to catch their breath again. Seeing as it’s sorta a heavy feeling of a “Thunk” I would try not so much to describe the pain, but get the reader to relate maybe by describing how hard the surface is so that the reader can infer by their own experience that it hurt. Describe it to make the reader feel uncomfortable or want to rub their back at the thought of it.

You could say that the pain is sudden and maybe include a whip lash effect of their head throwing back and how it pulls up from their shoulders in sudden pain. Maybe some teeth jitters from the head trowed back.

I don’t know that’s a hard one.

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February 11, 2020 at 1:58 pm

So in my story there are two times that my main protagonist experiences physical pain. The first would be closer to a physical attack; punched, kicked, the whole nine yards that could be classified as physical abuse. As for the 2nd time, it’s a split second decision as she runs over towards someone to protect them from harm and in turn my protagonist ends up getting stabbed through the chest. I’m having a bit of a hard time describing the sensation from the protagonist’s perspective during the 2nd time of being injured.

March 20, 2020 at 12:52 am

Hello there! I’m quite young and I’m only really here for help with a school thing. I have had personal experience with shock like situations and nerve damage so I figured I would give you some pointers.

Shock is really strange and it honestly takes a lot longer then you would think for your brain to process the situation. Seeing as it’s a split second situation I see this coming into play. Before you understand the full situation you tend to try and move around or look to see what happened to the best of your ability because your body is going through completely unfamiliar sensations. Attempting to move only to then find a sudden pain or you are unable to move as a whole.

As for pain my situation was directly nerve based. Lot’s of numbness and stinging, think someone hammering your funny bone except it shoots throughout your whole body. Seeing as it’s in the chest I would turn to throbbing pain of her heartbeat. The sharp pain comes afterwards when it sinks in and you try your best to move. Shaking is also very important. Think adrenaline and anxiety, your body goes into shock so the thought process isn’t too great. Not a lot of speaking either, it’s hard to make up any sort of conversation.

Passing out because of pain isn’t uncommon either, even more so at the sight of their own blood.

When I was going through shock I asked a bystander to tell me a story to try and distracted myself from the sharp tingly pain and the muscle spasms. Don’t know if any of that helps but I figured I’d say it anyways

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January 29, 2020 at 11:27 pm

This was some really helpful information to know! It did help me cover with the light stuff, but I was wondering for times where the scenarios get really gory?

As if the character were to get stabbed, how should it be expressed?

Also, how would it be like if the character just woke up from a coma?

Last question! Do you have a separate page for writing out battle scenes?

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November 9, 2019 at 4:42 am

How can I show pain from burning? Like someone was forced to literary walk on fire. I don’t know how to show it to readers. Help please!!!

November 9, 2019 at 12:44 pm

Tara, have a look here: http://www.scriptmedicblog.com/?s=burns

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September 10, 2019 at 11:47 am

In my story i am the 1st person and someone is paralyzed because if my ignorance and now he is in the hospital so how should i write that i am in utter despair and agony. And i want him to forgive me. Can you pls help i want a really nice description on that😊

September 10, 2019 at 11:51 am

And yeah i want a description on inner and spiritual pain but not on physical pain. I would really appreciate if someone help me! Thanks

September 10, 2019 at 11:54 am

what you’re looking for is the Emotional Wound Thesaurus: https://writershelpingwriters.net/the-emotional-wound-thesaurus-a-writers-guide-to-psychological-trauma/

September 10, 2019 at 11:57 am

Hi there, as I mentioned in the other comment, you’ll want to dig into the character’s emotional wounds and think about how their behavior will be unique to the character and the situation they are in. The Emotional Wound thesaurus can help with that. For setting description, you’ll want to look at the Urban Setting Thesaurus where it contains different hospital settings and the sensory description to go with them so your setting seems realistic. (Sorry, I wasn’t sure which area of description you meant you were struggling with here.)

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April 23, 2019 at 10:23 am

What is the body language of someone in extreme pain?

One of the characters in my work is, for a bunch of reasons: mute. The only way that she can communicate with my POV character is through actions and body language. She’s been injured so badly that, if not for magic she would be dead in seconds, but she’s conscious, unable to scream.

I’ve described her injuries (with words like ‘mangled’ and ‘twisted’, and descriptions of shards of bone poking out where her knees should be), but I really want to hammer home the nightmarish nature of her situation. Magic is involved, healing magic in the setting is not simple or even kind.

April 23, 2019 at 10:37 am

Hi Steve, One of the Amplifiers in our ebooklet, Emotion Amplifiers is “Pain.” That might help you? https://writershelpingwriters.net/emotion-amplifiers/

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January 27, 2019 at 9:45 pm

Thank you so much! This was very helpful but am wondering about how to write about an infection?

January 28, 2019 at 9:15 am

Ryan, I would advise you to do some research on the kind of infection so you’ll know what it looks like and how the character will physically respond. You could also talk to medical practitioners for practical information. Best of luck!

January 28, 2019 at 11:48 am

Also, if you go to the site of this guest poster, you’ll see she had more articles on different types of injuries and how to write them, so I would be shocked if she didn’t have something on infections. Just poke around and I’m sure you’ll find some help there. 🙂

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January 1, 2019 at 9:18 pm

I have write a character who as cut their feet on rocks and branches. Luckily I have not experienced that first hand, but that makes it hard to write about.

The character is running away for danger and can’t stop to address his injury. I really don’t know how to describe how that feels, and what it does to the body.

Do you think you could help me with some descriptive words?

I would appreciate it,

Cheers, Bella

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November 5, 2018 at 2:29 pm

How do describe a flying elbow to the stomach?

November 5, 2018 at 3:07 pm

Hi, Hayden. While I’m thankful this has never happened to me, it unfortunately doesn’t give me any reference for answering your question. But I do remember times when I’ve had the wind knocked out of me and when I have been knocked painfully by someone else. You’ve probably experienced these things too; use those memories to write about how it would feel. Think about things like localized pain, but what other physical sensations it may trigger, like nausea, losing one’s breath, or what happens to the person if the impact causes additional pain, such as them falling down or stumbling backward and hitting their head, etc.

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August 8, 2018 at 11:05 pm

My character fell on his face. Not scraping his palms, just his face.

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June 23, 2018 at 11:34 am

How would you write a character who is unable to feel pain? (Or hunger, thirst, tiredness, etc.) This is not congenital insensitivity, this is a light fantasy setting where this is paired with moderately increased endurance as a power/mutation. The character in question is a 12 year old girl.

November 5, 2018 at 3:12 pm

Hi, Georgia. I’m sorry, but I’m just now seeing your comment here. For this, you’ll have to show, through the character’s response, that they’re not feeling pain, and whether or not this is normal for her. For instance, you could show her being knocked down, getting up and dusting herself off, and her fingers coming away bloody. Maybe she’s gashed her leg or impaled it on something, and she didn’t notice. And now that she does, she doesn’t respond normally. Maybe she treats it like an inconvenience, bandaging it up or yanking out the offending shard of glass, then trotting off without a limp. Or maybe she consciously affects a limp because she knows that would be normal with such an injury and she wants to avoid notice. Maybe she mentally recalls that a year ago, this would have hurt like you know what, and that’s how her mutation is a blessing in disguise. The important thing here is to know your character’s state of mind regarding her mutation and having her respond accordingly so it doesn’t come off as unrealistic or explanatory to the reader. I hope I’m not too late and you’re able to use this information.

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March 18, 2018 at 5:59 pm

How can I describe a knife across the face?

March 19, 2018 at 8:28 am

Hi, James. I’m afraid you’ll have to do some research on this since I’ve had no experience here. Think about times when you’ve experienced a wound to the face, or a cutting wound and apply that knowledge to your character’s situation. You may even be able to Google the question and find some information. Best of luck!

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February 25, 2018 at 9:56 pm

I love causing pain to characters (but don’t do it for no reason) and I legitimately could not stop grinning unless I covered my mouth with my hand……. There’s something wrong with me. Anyway, THANK YOU for this, it’s super helpful!

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November 22, 2017 at 2:32 pm

My character has a knife slash across her face. She also lives on the streets after fleeing the hospital. Expert your article helped me with: The voices blurred together, mixing into a haze through the pain as they got her to the hospital. She had gotten the impression that a simple cut would have less medical needs. Looking back on it, Ellen thought she was overwhelmed by it all. She was in searing pain, the force of it ripping through her mind like a bomb, after all.

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February 17, 2017 at 4:33 pm

So helpful and timely! Thank you!

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February 10, 2017 at 4:05 pm

I love this article!! I have a question. I have an alpha male hero who is an amputee. He’s been through therapy and it’s been about four years since he lost his leg. My question involves phantom pain that I’ve read a lot about with amputees. How bad does this kind of pain get in relation to your Mild, Moderate or Severe pain? I have the scene where when he wakes up and it’s throbbing and it’s swollen so he can’t put on his prothesis. I read this in another book. Is that accurate? I have him taking some pain meds. How long does it take before the pain goes away approximately? I mention that he’s been using accpuncture for the pain as well with some success. Is this even accurate??

Thanks, Janice

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February 11, 2017 at 10:48 am

Hey Janice! Thanks for your question!

Phantom pain comes from a number of different causes, including damage or pressure on a nerve, especially if scar tissue is putting pressure on it.

While I’m certainly not a pain management specialist, and nothing here is to be considered medical advice — my disclaimer is here ( http://www.scriptmedicblog.com/disclaimer ) — I have a couple of great resources to send you.

The first is an article from the Amputee Coalition, talking about pain and possible treatments, here: http://www.amputee-coalition.org/limb-loss-resource-center/resources-for-pain-management/managing-phantom-pain/

WebMD has a fairly decent article here: http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/guide/phantom-limb-pain#1-4

And Mayo Clinic, my personal favorite resource on the whole wide Webiverse, has a great article here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/phantom-pain/basics/treatment/con-20023268

It seems, from reading these sources, that a combination of medical therapy (including opioids like Vicodin / hydrocodone or Percocet / oxycodone, anticonvulsants such as Neurontin / gabapentin or Lyrica / pregabalin, or tricyclic antidepressants including amitryptaline or tramadol) and non-medical therapy (such as mirror box, applied heat, massage, and, yes, accupuncture etc of the affected leg).

You might think seizure medication or antidepressants are a strange thing to give for phantom limb pain, but they interrupt the way neuropathic pain signals are transmitted and received in the brain. Science: It’s Kinda Neat Sometimes, Huh? (TM).

There’s a GREAT TED talk that, among other things, touches on mirror box therapy here: http://www.ted.com/talks/vilayanur_ramachandran_on_your_mind?language=en

(It helps that that guy has one of the best accents I’ve ever heard in my whole life, by the way, and the talk is fascinating even before dealing with this.)

As to how bad the pain gets, I think that’s up to you to decide, though I’ve heard it *can* be severe; however, he’s been dealing with this for four years now.

Swelling of the stump is certainly possible. In fact, after an amputation, it takes weeks for the swelling to go down enough to even fit an amputee for a prosthesis! This far along it may be irritated skin, or your character may have developed an infection in the site. But just like any area, irritation breeds swelling, itching, and pain.

I hope this was useful! I’d say you’re already headed down the right track, and I would personally like to say I would LOVE to see more amputee heroes in fiction!

Best of luck with your tale.

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

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February 10, 2017 at 11:34 am

Excellent post. Thank you Angela for sharing. Like you books, too.

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February 9, 2017 at 8:06 pm

This is wonderful information! I find when I write about pain that I fall into the problem of trying to over share the pain of my character. When I go back to read it, I stop reading after the first two sentences (like in the example here). Thank you for sharing this! I appreciate the different levels of pain and the descriptive words to help illustrate them.

Cheers, Jen

February 10, 2017 at 12:10 am

Hi Jennifer! I’m so glad you found it helpful! I know in my own writing I’ve tended toward over-emphasizing pain, especially too early in the story.

One thing I didn’t get a chance to discuss is the idea of ramping up the pain — backing off on descriptions early so that you can maximize them later and not have it be repetitive. It’s the difference between a low-level ache in the shoulder when your character gets out of bed and the ripping, tearing agony when they tear their rotator cuff at the worst possible moment in the story. It’s not always appropriate, but in general, ramping up your character’s pain to mirror scene tension can be an excellent tool if done well.

Good luck with your stories!!

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February 9, 2017 at 5:12 pm

Very informative particle. Thank you for sharing.

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February 9, 2017 at 11:16 am

Thank you for addressing this problem! It’s very useful information.

February 9, 2017 at 10:41 am

Hey Angela! I just wanted to say thanks so much for having me on the blog, and I hope this post has been helpful for your readers. It’s great to appear on such a fantastic blog!

February 9, 2017 at 1:35 pm

So glad to have you. This info is a great help to many writers. 🙂

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February 9, 2017 at 9:48 am

Hi Angela: Thank you so much for Posting and for sharing Aunt Scripty’s Post and website. I’ve signed up for her Newsletter and look forward to using the Resources that she offers.

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February 9, 2017 at 7:23 am

Wonderful information and ideas.

[…] Resources:How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain10 Methods to Make Your Character […]

[…] writers find pain difficult to write about, at the risk of downplaying their characters’ pain. However, unless some plot device in the […]

[…] Resources: How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain 10 Methods to Make Your Character […]

[…] there! This is a part of a series on pain and suffering in writing. Part 1 of the series, Writing About Pain (Without Putting Your Readers in Agony), appeared on the eminent and excellent blog WritersHelpingWriters. Thanks again to Angela for […]

[…] How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain – WRITERS HELPING WRITERS® […]

[…] Check out Writing About Pain (Without Putting Your Readers in Agony) here! […]

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How to Write a Fight Scene: 5 Ways to Add More Punch to Your Novel

by Hugh O. Smith | Sep 24, 2019

group of men getting in a fight at a bar

When I began writing my first crime novel, I knew it would be a challenge. But there was one aspect of writing that I was sure would be much easier than the rest: the action scenes.

The plot was going to take a lot of work, the research would be arduous, the character development would drain me — but the action scenes were going to be a breeze.

That was before I wrote one.

How to write fight scenes that satisfy your reader

The fight scene played out in my head and I wrote it happily, seeing each blow in my mind’s eye. I heard each hit as it landed, saw the blood and cracked bones, felt the impact of fists and feet and knees and elbows.

The fight, in my mind, was glorious. The fight I’d committed to paper, however, was a literal blow-by-blow account, and it was boring.

Discouraged, I trashed the first draft and did some further research. The second, third and fourth drafts have been much better.

Since then, I’ve learned a few things. Here are five tips that will help you learn how to write fight scenes.

1. Study how great authors do it

Mario Puzo, Lee Child, Karin Slaughter, John Connolly, Deon Meyer, Patricia Cornwell, Elmore Leonard, Louis L’Amour, Larry McMurtry and Robert B. Parker have all written novels chock full of bad characters doing bad things.

If you want to know how to write action, study these writers’ work. Some scenes feature intense, vivid descriptions; some have almost no description at all. Some action scenes are fast and deadly, some are longer and suspenseful.

Reading a variety of work will help inspire you to try a few different ways of writing action scenes, and ultimately find the one that works best for you and your story.

2. Use a style that fits with your novel’s tone and pacing

This doesn’t mean your actions scenes have to fit exactly in with the rest of your prose, but you should use a style that complements the rest of your work.

For example, in his Spenser novels, Robert B. Parker often goes into great detail about what his characters wear, but his actions scenes are short and deadly.

I hit Shelley under the jaw, and he stepped back and swung at me. I shrugged my shoulder up and took the punch on it. I hit Shelley four times, three lefts and a right in the face. He stumbled back, blood rushing from his nose. — Robert B. Parker, Early Autumn

Conversely, Lee Child’s hero Jack Reacher is a giant of a man, capable of great violence but also imbued with a great capacity to reason. Reacher is the thinking man’s action hero, so Child’s fight scenes tend to be less choppy and more descriptive, fitting in well both with the character and the overall tone of the books.

Reacher half turned and half stepped back, toward his door, a fluid quarter circle, shoulders and all, and like he knew they would the two guys moved toward him, faster than he was moving, off-script and involuntary, ready to grab him. Reacher kept it going long enough to let their momentum establish, and then he whipped back through the reverse quarter circle toward them, by which time he was moving just as fast as they were, two hundred and fifty pounds about to collide head-on with four hundred, and he kept twisting and threw a long left hook at the left-hand guy. — Lee Child, Never Go Back

The styles are different, but both are effective and entertaining.

3. Keep the story moving

Do you really need an action scene at that particular point in the story? We’ve all endured scenes where suddenly a fight occurs when there was no need for it: it didn’t advance the story in any way, and seemed as if it was included just for the fight’s sake.

Good writers know how to use action effectively to advance their story.

Pulitzer Prize winner Larry McMurtry includes the scene below in his novel Lonesome Dove . It’s a short and brutal scene, but it gives you great insight into the personality of his character, Woodrow Call. The scene also forces the reader to ask questions that enhance the enjoyment of the rest of the novel.

The six soldiers, watching, were too astonished to move. The small-seeming cowman kicked Dixon so hard in the face that it seemed his head would fly off. Then the man stood over Dixon, who spat out blood and teeth. When Dixon struggled to his feet, the smaller man immediately knocked him down again and then ground his face into the dirt with a boot. “He’s gonna kill him,” one soldier said, his face going white. “He’s gonna kill Dixon.” — Larry McMurtry, Lonesome Dove

Before you construct an action scene, ask yourself, does this scene belong here, or elsewhere? Does it belong in the story at all? Does it move the plot along? Will my readers learn anything about the character(s) because of it?

If not, cut it out — or move it to another place in your story.

Image: Use action effectively

4. Make sure it rings true

We’ve all read books and seen films where a bullet never comes close to the heroine or she recovers much too quickly from a terrible beating. If I made my hero too invincible, my audience would see right through me, but how to bring intense, bloody reality to the slings and arrows my hero was sure to endure?

I used to work as a bouncer, so I’m familiar with what violence looks and feels like and I tried to bring that to my action scenes. However, I was concerned that I wasn’t bringing enough reality to events that I hadn’t ever seen in person.

Here’s how to solve this conundrum: realize that most authors have not seen gunshot or stab wounds firsthand. I have never seen anyone get shot (thank goodness!), but there’s nothing stopping me from doing some research. South African novelist Deon Meyer shadows police officers and interviews forensics experts to help him create scenes like this one, from Dead Before Dying .

The shot thundered across the beach, an echo of the waves. The lead bullet broke his bottom right incisor, tore through his palate, just above his upper teeth, punched through the lower bone of his eye socket, and broke through the skin just in front of his left ear. He staggered back, then dropped down into a sitting position. Pain shot through his head. The blood dripped warmly down his cheek. His left eye wouldn’t focus. But he was alive. — Deon Meyer, Dead Before Dying

5. Consider the aftermath of the fight

Things happen as a result of violence. A fight scene should change a character or give the reader a deeper understanding of the character’s motivations, emotions and possible future actions.

Consider this passage from Mario Puzo’s Godfather saga, just after Sonny Corleone’s assassination:

Don Corleone was staring at the table. “I want you to use all your powers, all your skill, as you love me,” he said. “I do not wish for his mother to see him as he is.” He went to the table and drew down the gray blanket. Amerigo Bonasera against all his will, against all his years of training and experience, let out a gasp of horror. On the embalming table was the bullet-smashed face of Sonny Corleone. The left eye drowned in blood had a star fracture in its lens. The bridge of his nose and left cheekbone were hammered into pulp. For one fraction of a second the Don put out his hand to support himself against Bonasera’s body. “See how they have massacred my son, he said.” — Mario Puzo, The Godfather

Don Vito Corleone, a man used to violence, is visibly moved and irrevocably changed by his son’s brutal slaying. Shortly thereafter, the Don steps down and his youngest son, Michael, rises to power. This one scene initiates a series of calculated events that permanently alter (and end) the lives of almost every character in Puzo’s novel.

Puzo makes his action scenes intense and exciting, but he also knows that the violence comes at a steep cost and isn’t shy about making his characters pay the price for their brutal ways. They deal with their physical and emotional pain in ways that are entertaining to read and help to advance the narrative.

In the same way, as you create your exciting action scene, plan the aftermath of the violence. The action must propel your story forward and have consequences for your characters, whether immediately or down the road.

For more information on how to write a fight scene, check out Joanna Penn’s free interview with martial artist and author Alan Baxter, or Baxter’s book Write the Fight Right.

This is an updated version of a story that was previously published. We update our posts as often as possible to ensure they’re useful for our readers.

Photo via Dusan Petkovic/ Shutterstock  

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How to Describe Anger In Writing

image of lightning | How to Describe Anger in Writing: a Master List for Writers #ways to describe anger #how to describe frustration in writing #expressions of anger list #angry descriptions #writing about anger

I wanted to make a list about how to describe anger in writing

because I know a lot of writers get stuck on it, whether they’re describing frustration, annoyance, or flat-out rage. Even when you’re just looking for a few words or a phrase, you can get bogged down. With that in mind, here are ways to write anger descriptions in a more vivid way than “he felt angry.”

5,000 Writing Prompts book. Get inspired. Stay inspired. Get the book.

Here’s something I can’t stress enough. When you’re writing about anger, there are a lot of ways to show the emotion…through what they say, how loudly they say it, what they’re thinking, and their actions (such as aggressively loading the dishwasher.)

My list of ways to describe facial expressions and my list of body language and gestures

can both help in showing emotion. But once in a while, you want to describe your point of view character’s internal feelings of anger.

Obviously, this isn’t a comprehensive list. There are one hundred phrases here. A few of them hint at physiological reactions to the emotion of anger, and some employ similes. You can adapt them or mix them up a little, and they’ll probably make you think of more.

The ones that contain a verb can be turned into a phrase. For instance, “she was breathless with anger” can be used in a sentence like, “Breathless with anger, she stood up and walked out.’ Oh, and you can probably change some of these to describe hatred or loathing. And as long as the context is clear, you don’t need to name the emotion at all—a physiological reaction is often enough!

Be sure to pin the article to a Pinterest board or bookmark it for future reference!

How to Describe Anger in Writing | woman with angry expression

he smoldered with resentment

rage flowed through her like lava

molten anger rolled through him

rage gripped her

anger poured through her

her temper sparked

anger stirred within her

his fury sprang to life

rage nearly consumed her

raw anger shot through him

rage pulsed through his veins

anger thrummed through her veins

anger flooded his veins

rage quickened her blood

she felt a flash of irritation

he felt a flicker of irritation

his anger spiked

anger rushed through her

anger overpowered her

rage overtook him

fury overcame her

he swallowed down his frustration

she tamped down her irritation

he mastered his anger

he kept his frustration in check

fury roared through her mind

a fresh swell of rage rose in her

anger rose in him like a tide

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anger welled up in his chest

fury vibrated through her being

he burned with anger

irritation pricked at him

inwardly, she was seething

he trembled with rage

she shook with fury

he was quivering with anger

her resentment grew inside her like a tumor

his resentment festered in him

anger spread through him

rage filled her

his irritation flared

it roused her anger

it woke her anger

his edge of irritation had returned

fury surged through her

he went cold with fury

she was breathless with anger

he was wordless with rage

he was almost choking on his rage

nearly suffocating on her fury

she was simmering with anger

he was boiling with anger

a wave of fury crashed through her

he was running on sheer anger

her frustration kicked in

fury twisted inside of her

she was a ball of pure anger

she was about to explode with rage

he felt about to burst from rage

she was in a red rage

rage ran red through his brain

he stoked his anger

a vortex of anger swirled inside him

she fought the chaos of her rage

he tried to still his rage

he pressed down his anger

she struggled against her anger

he bit back his anger

anger heated her blood

rage seared through him

anger swept over her

resentment clouded her thoughts

he was blind with rage

she felt a jolt of anger

anger hardened her heart

rage beat at her heart

rage churned inside of him

he felt drunk on his rage

anger ripped through him

anger rippled through her

fury tore through her

inside, he was smoking with anger

his anger was mounting

her anger coiled in her stomach

he felt a stab of anger

she felt the anger building

he could taste blood

her irritation crackled

she was immobilized by fury

he was brimming with hostility

anger settled over her

rage throbbed in her like a heartbeat

rage pounded in him like a drumbeat

flames of anger licked through him

rage seized her

resentment blossomed within her

his anger felt good

she felt a cleansing anger

he felt a sick anger

he marinated in resentment

It actually took me a really long time to think about all of these! 🙂 I hope it’s a helpful list! I’m going to make a few more for other emotions. If you don’t want to miss those, be sure to follow the blog, if you aren’t already — there’s a place to sign up on the lefthand side of this website.

And in my book Master Lists for Writers , you can find a lot more lists. Take a look!

Master Lists for Writers by Bryn Donovan #master lists for writers free pdf #master lists for writers free ebook #master lists for writers free kindle

Thanks for reading, and happy writing!

[custom-related-posts title=”Related Posts” none_text=”None found” order_by=”title” order=”ASC

40 thoughts on “ how to describe anger in writing ”.

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Thank you, these alternatives to anger are excellent. xxx

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So glad you like them, Adele! And nice to see you. 🙂

Thank you. x

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Writing a Behavior Support Plan for an individual in crisis and I needed to find ways to capture the person’s state-of-being. Thanks for the inspiration and descriptions as some of these are helpful even though what I am doing is not creative writing. Thanks!

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I really like those ways of showing anger without mentioning the word but it’s also great to have a hundred examples of how to use it with such variety.

Thanks, Maria! (Great last name, by the way. 😉 )

It is! Do people ever spell yours Donavon? Is there in the whole world anyone who spells their own name that way? Bryn is also good. A good Welsh word.

They do spell it that way! Haha!

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Nice, thank you. Some of those, very evocative!!

Thanks so much, friend!

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Thanks, Bryn. This long list is stimulating. So often expressing emotions, especially anger, is quite difficult. It is probably easiest to express anger through physical violence – but it is more challenging for a character who is angry and yet wants to/needs to express it in a non-violent way.

Hi, Keith! Thanks. And you bring up such a good point! I think it can be really powerful when a character is angry and _not_ really showing it, or else showing it in more understated ways.

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Great list!! I’ve had many times when I wanted something other than ‘She wanted to punch something–preferably his nose.’ Or something similar to that. 🙂

Thanks Bunches!! I’m sure I’ll be referring to this list A Lot for my stories. Romances need to be full of conflict, and anger is certainly a product of that, especially in close relationships. Now that I have this list to refer to, I won’t need to burn up all my brain power trying to come up with a way to describe this emotion, so Thanks Again for burning up your brain for all of us. LOL 🙂

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I might just start printing out these addendums and paste them into my copy of MLfW 🙂 These are super helpful, Bryn. Thanks for thinking them up! <3

🙂 Thanks, friend!

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Thanks for sharing, Bryn! These are helpful. I reblogged your post on my blog for Write it Wednesday. (I also wrote a 2,218-word short fic today!) Write away!

I always say this, but it’s true: you are so prolific! Thank you so much for sharing…it means a lot, always!

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I love all of your alternatives for anything. I’ll be sure to take note of these as well. Your book Master List for writers has become my bible. I even add my own twist on them sometimes to suit whatever’s going on in the scene at the time.

Hi, Nicole! Oh, that means a lot to me. I’m so glad the book is helpful! And I thought people could put their own spin on things, just like you’re doing. 🙂

I’ll be sure to leave a bibliographical reference to you when I’ve completed my book. Thank you so much Bryn. Xx

Oh my gosh, you don’t have to do that, of course! (Even though that would be amazing 😀 ) I hope the book is going well!

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Awesome list. Thanks Bryn.

You’re welcome, Dalton! Thanks for stopping by!

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I was scouring the internet for a compendious list of expressions to aid my essays. Growing restless by the minute I shuddered at the thought of exams creeping in the corner when I came across your blog. Very helpful. You’re a true lifesaver.:)

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Thank you is an understatement Thanks though Thanks a great deal

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Hair-trigger temper is another good description.

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Just wanted to say thanks trying to make my own book right now and I always struggle with expressing anger

wow. these phrases are extremely useful and really realistic. thank u so much for compiling it

You are so welcome!

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These are so good! Thanks so much xx

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thx for the phrases

thanks you helped me a lot

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Thank you so much! This is great!

Oh yay! So glad you liked it! 🙂

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Very good writing resources!!! This is one of the best website I have ever been! There is just a bountiful amount of phrases that I need when writing a composition. Thank so much!! Much appreciated.

Hi bryn donovan , thank you for this list! I was actually quite stressed out as i am going to have my english composition tomorrow and i also didn’t know a lot of good phrases for anger. Upon stumbling on your website, i saw MANY good phrases! so if i write about a character being angry tomorrow , i would definitely hv good marks!UwU THANKS again!!! 🙂

Btw my name is isabel oops i forgot to include it! UwU

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How to Write the Most Epic Fight Scenes: 20+ Creative Tricks

Last Updated: August 24, 2023 Fact Checked

Planning the Fight Scene

Drafting the fight scene, research & writing tips, sample fight scenes.

This article was written by Lucy V. Hay and by wikiHow staff writer, Glenn Carreau . Lucy V. Hay is a Professional Writer based in London, England. With over 20 years of industry experience, Lucy is an author, script editor, and award-winning blogger who helps other writers through writing workshops, courses, and her blog Bang2Write. Lucy is the producer of two British thrillers, and Bang2Write has appeared in the Top 100 round-ups for Writer’s Digest & The Write Life and is a UK Blog Awards Finalist and Feedspot’s #1 Screenwriting blog in the UK. She received a B.A. in Scriptwriting for Film & Television from Bournemouth University. There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 466,329 times.

You’re writing a story, you’ve chosen a setting and developed all of your characters, but now it’s time for the first big fight scene of the book. So, what’s the best way to capture all the action? Fight scenes can be tricky territory for writers; they need to be action-packed without slowing down the story's drama, which is why we’re here to help. Read on, and we’ll show you how to plan and write fight scenes, keeping them engaging and filled with just enough detail. After all, good fight scenes make readers feel like they’re right in the action, fighting zombies, bad guys, and the odd lame boyfriend. This article is based on an interview with our script editor and blogger, Lucy V. Hay. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • Keep your sentences and descriptions brief throughout the scene to make the fight feel fast-paced and exciting.
  • Include vivid, expressive words that activate the reader's sense of smell, taste, touch, hearing, and sight.
  • Develop your character's personality by writing about their fighting style, their reactions to the villain, and the decisions they make during the fight.
  • Clarify the stakes of the fight before it begins and during the action. When the fight is over, include a resolution for each of the characters involved.

Step 1 Determine how the fight scene fits into your story.

  • Several different characters might be in the fight, not just two. Note how many characters will be present and what “side” each character is on.
  • Consider the time of day and the mindsets of the characters involved in the fight. Will it be a fight to the death or a fight with minor injuries?
  • For every fight scene you write, try a simple test. Ask yourself, “If I took this scene out of the story, would the story fall apart?” If the answer is “yes,” then your fight scene definitely has a purpose and is worth keeping in the story.

Step 2 Set the fight in a dynamic place and enhance the action with props.

  • Placing your fight scene at the edge of a deep ravine or on a boat adrift in stormy waters creates immediate tension—your characters could be in grave peril with one wrong move!
  • Setting your fight in a garage full of tools or an antique store creates many opportunities for the characters to grab various objects, crash into them, or use them as improvised weapons.

Step 3 Figure out your characters’ motivations to fight.

  • What does this character hope to gain? What does the character stand to lose?
  • What sort of ability does he or she have?
  • What type of training does he or she have?
  • Does this character have cultural beliefs about fighting?
  • Why does the reader care about the character? How can he or she likely relate to the character?

Step 4 Give each combatant strengths and weaknesses.

  • For example, you might have one character be so exceptionally strong that they seem to be winning, until your underdog uses their smarts to trick (and defeat) the stronger character.
  • You could also have one character be a very inexperienced fighter matched up against a master fighter, and their surprise win is also how their special abilities manifest, setting up the rest of your story.

Step 5 Make an outline describing each action characters will take in the fight.

  • For example: “I fell back, settling into a defensive stance as I took in my foe. There was a pain in my leg and in my side: I was wounded but not out of the fight yet. The creature growled, teeth bared. If I don’t stop it now, there’s no telling what it’ll do. I shook my head, and with a renewed will, launched myself at the beast.”

Step 7 Decide how the battle’s outcome will change the story.

  • A fight scene may also create a conflict for your protagonist, as a close ally, friend, or family member may end up being collateral damage in the fight, motivating the protagonist to fight back.

Step 8 Create stakes for the fight.

  • For example, if your protagonist loses their fight, they might fail to stop their enemy from doing something horrible, like annihilating an entire town or killing their best friend.
  • In fights that aren’t as climactic, there can still be stakes. For example, your protagonist might put their honor or skills to the test, and if they lose, they’ll be humiliated or demoted.

Step 9 Treat each fight as a mini-story.

  • For example, try to begin your fight scene with an inciting indecent, followed by rising action, where your characters are fighting each other.
  • As your characters fight, create twists and surprises in the narrative. Allow one fighter to start gaining the upper hand.
  • Then, create a climax for your fight. This could be a particularly powerful move or decision that ultimately decides the outcome of the fight.
  • Finally, wind down the battle and offer a resolution—whether your protagonist is left licking their wounds and vows to beat their enemy next time, or they vanquish their foe and win the day.

Step 1 Build your character’s personality through the way they think and fight.

  • You can also use fight scenes to trigger changes in your character’s personality as they respond to the escalating conflict.
  • For example, maybe your character normally plays by the rules, but after their friend gets hurt, they let loose and fight in a reckless, uncontrollable manner.
  • On the other hand, maybe your character has spent the better part of your story carving a bloody path to vengeance, and this is the fight scene where they finally learn that it takes even more strength to show an enemy mercy.

Step 2 Include interior character thoughts.

  • For example, your hero may be facing a challenging adversary and start to feel she is losing the fight. She may have interior character thoughts as she struggles to gain the upper hand.
  • “She hits me again, and I taste blood. Come on, Buffy, get up. Find the stake. Get up. She grabs my head and lifts me until I’m dangling on the tips of my toes, then slams her hand into my ribs. I wince. Come on, Buffy. Focus. I lock my eyes on the dead, black holes in her head and jab my palm under her chin. She reels back, releasing her grip.”

Step 3 Use descriptive words that activate the reader’s senses.

  • When using touch, describe how your characters physically interact with each other and any weapons or objects around them.
  • Use sight to show readers what they should be paying attention to most in the scene, whether it’s a character, an object that character is trying to obtain, and so on.
  • Use onomatopoeia (a word based on a particular sound) for hearing. For example, if there’s an explosion, you could write, “BOOM! A clap like thunder filled the area.”
  • Think about what your character might taste. For example, they could describe the taste of the sweat on their lip or the acrid taste of smoke in the air.
  • Can your character smell the ocean air? Gasoline and motor oil? Cooked food? Consider what smells might be present at the location of the fight.

Step 4 Add character dialogue to create emotion in the fight.

  • In The Princess Bride fight scene, Inigo Montoya is given snappy lines of dialogue between each swish of his rapier to vary the pace and demonstrate his character in the scene.
  • For example: “Go now, Buffy! Save the others.” “Are you sure, Giles?” Giles sprayed silver bullets into a wall of vampires. I watched a few slam against the concrete, splattering guts and blood. The rest of the pack moved closer. Giles glanced at me over his shoulder. “Go Buffy, now!” I run.
  • A parting shot at the end of a fight can be satisfying for readers. For example: “You’ve won for now, but you’ll never escape us.” He coughed, blood running down his chin. “Maybe,” Jane replied, “But I can take you down with me.” With a flash of her dagger, his rattling breath was cut off.

Step 5 Shift the momentum throughout your fight scene to create suspense.

  • There are a couple of ways to shift the momentum. For example, the enemy might parry a strike from your protagonist and then hit them hard, making them lose their balance.
  • You can also shift the momentum using thoughts rather than actions. For example, your protagonist might have a moment of worry or fear that they’re going to lose.
  • Each time the momentum shifts, make it clear which character now has the upper hand.
  • Don’t be afraid to let your character make mistakes as they fight. Actual fights are messy and chaotic, and mistakes are natural. It’ll make your character feel more real and relatable to readers.

Step 6 Keep up the pace with shorter sentences and descriptions.

  • Avoid a blow-by-blow description of each character's action, as this will feel too technical. The scene should feel chaotic, much like a real fight. Keep all actions simple, clear, and to the point.
  • Steer clear of long sentences and avoid using adverbs or too many adjectives in the scene. This may confuse and distract your readers.
  • Ultimately, the length of a fight scene is up to you, but generally, only a climactic final battle or an epic battle between armies should span many pages or chapters.
  • For example, short sentences like “I aimed for his nose and connected. Blood splattered on the ground,” are more effective than longer sentences such as: “I curled my hand into a fist and aimed for the front of his nose. My fist hit the bridge of his nose. His blood splattered all over the ground of the warehouse.”

Step 7 Show the aftermath of the fight.

  • If your character suffers a cut or stab wound, for example, you’ll have to show their recovery (or, if you’re jumping ahead in time, their scar from the wound).
  • Bruises and cuts on a character’s face might limit their ability to eat or chew. If a character is in a fight for the first time, they may feel shock and anxiety from the fight—or they may feel hardened and ready for more.
  • For example: “As the dust settled, I stood in the middle of all the carnage, breathing heavily. Though the many bruises and cuts on my body stung, I knew that I was on the right path—and ready for more. I caught my breath, straightened, and strode outside.”

Step 8 Overwrite, and then edit down the scene to cut unnecessary detail.

  • First draft: “Buffy counted ten vamps in the room, though it was dark, so there could be more than ten. She had two stakes in either hand and two more tucked in her back pocket. And the knife strapped to her ankle, which could do some damage if needed. The vampires locked eyes on her, bloodthirsty, and ready to kill. She sized up the room and her weapons. “Ready?” she said calmly. Not waiting for an answer, she arches her arm back to throw a stake into the heart of the nearest vampire.”
  • Second draft: “Ten vamps in the sealed-off room. Dark in here, though, so there could be more. Two stakes in either of her hands, two more in her back pocket, and the knife strapped to her ankle, which could do some damage if needed. She feels their eyes on her, bloodthirsty, dead, focused on their kill. “Ready?” she says. She arches her arm back and throws a stake right into the heart of the nearest vampire.”

Step 1 Focus on writing in your own unique style.

  • The best way to find your unique voice is simply through regular practice. Make time to write as consistently as you can, and your writing style will naturally emerge.
  • Read more books, as well. The more you read, the more you'll develop your own voice and gain inspiration.

Step 2 Mix up the pacing of different fight scenes, so each one feels different.

  • Remember, it’s okay to experiment and see what pacing and length work best for the particular fight scene you’re working on. That’s what drafting (and editing) is for!

Step 3 Read examples of fight scenes for inspiration.

  • The fight between Hector and Achilles in Homer’s The Iliad . The fight between Hector and Achilles has become a classic model for fight scenes in literature. [17] X Research source
  • The fight between The Man in Black and Inigo Montoya in William Goldman’s The Princess Bride . This is a great example of a sword fight, full of action and dialogue packed with wit and humor. [18] X Research source
  • The duel between Macbeth and Macduff in William Shakespeare’s Macbeth . This pivotal scene is the play’s final showdown; though it’s originally a sword fight, it’s been reinterpreted as a fistfight and a gunfight in modern productions. [19] X Research source
  • The battle between Percy Jackson and Kronos in Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Last Olympian . This is another great sword fight; the battle lasts for at least 10 chapters, with lots of detailed action.

Step 4 Take a fight class to understand better what real fights are like.

  • Ask your instructor about common responses between fighters during physical encounters. If you have no experience being in a fight, you’ll react differently than a seasoned fighter.
  • Consider how a professional fighter might approach a fight; they’ll likely be relaxed and focused. Good fighters can see a punch or kick coming, have constant training, and can focus on how the body moves in a fight.

Step 5 Learn about various weapons so you can describe them accurately.

  • For example, a swordfight would likely look very different from hand-to-hand combat in terms of the moves your characters would use and the damage they’d inflict on one another.
  • In a historical fiction novel, your characters’ weapons and fighting style should match the setting. A samurai in feudal Japan would be taught from an early age to use multiple weapons.
  • A fight scene in a fantasy book may be filled with fantastical weapons or fighting abilities. For example, the world of "Harry Potter" includes spells and magical objects.
  • Consider how the weapons and fighting styles of the characters match the tone and setting of the rest of the book.

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  • ↑ https://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/5-essential-tips-for-writing-killer-fight-scenes
  • ↑ https://ofmetalandmagicpublishing.wordpress.com/how-to-write-fight-scenes/
  • ↑ https://writetodone.com/how-to-write-fight-scenes/
  • ↑ https://johnaugust.com/2011/writing-fight-scenes
  • ↑ https://thewritepractice.com/freytags-pyramid/
  • ↑ https://theeditorsblog.net/2012/02/28/inner-dialogue-writing-character-thoughts/
  • ↑ https://www.raynehall.com/fight-scenes-tips
  • ↑ http://www.thecreativepenn.com/2011/09/07/write-fight-scenes-alan-baxter/
  • ↑ https://www.writerscookbook.com/how-to-find-your-writing-voice-2/
  • ↑ https://study.com/learn/lesson/death-hector-the-iliad-homer-achilles.html
  • ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDlZ_SXx5gA
  • ↑ https://shakespeare.folger.edu/shakespeares-works/macbeth/act-5-scene-8/
  • ↑ https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/how-to-write-realistic-fight-scenes-2/

About This Article

Lucy V. Hay

To write a fight scene, include descriptions of the characters’ actions and movements, as well as their positions during the fight. Describe what the characters feel after each blow and what they are thinking throughout the fight. Include dialogue in the scene to add variety and to change up the pacing, and use the way the characters fight to reveal more about them. Also, be sure to describe the aftermath of the fight, like adrenaline, bruises, cuts, or other injuries. Keep reading for tips on how to pare down the language in your fight scene! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Describing Sadness in Creative Writing: 33 Ways to Capture the Blues

By: Author Paul Jenkins

Posted on August 25, 2023

Categories Creative Writing , Writing

Describing sadness in creative writing can be a challenging task for any writer.

Sadness is an emotion that can be felt in different ways, and it’s important to be able to convey it in a way that is authentic and relatable to readers. Whether you’re writing a novel, short story, or even a poem, the ability to describe sadness can make or break a story.

Understanding sadness in writing is essential to creating a believable character or scene. Sadness is a complex emotion that can be caused by a variety of factors, such as loss, disappointment, or loneliness. It’s important to consider the context in which the sadness is occurring, as this can influence the way it is expressed.

By exploring the emotional spectrum of characters and the physical manifestations of sadness, writers can create a more authentic portrayal of the emotion.

In this article, we will explore the different ways to describe sadness in creative writing. We will discuss the emotional spectrum of characters, the physical manifestations of sadness, and the language and dialogue used to express it. We’ll also look at expert views on emotion and provide unique examples of describing sadness.

By the end of this article, you’ll have a better understanding of how to authentically convey sadness in your writing.

Key Takeaways

  • Understanding the emotional spectrum of characters is essential to creating a believable portrayal of sadness.
  • Physical manifestations of sadness can be used to convey the emotion in a more authentic way.
  • Authenticity in describing sadness can be achieved through language and dialogue, as well as expert views on emotion.

33 Ways to Express Sadness in Creative Writing

Let’s start with some concrete examples of sadness metaphors and similes:

Here are 33 ways to express sadness in creative writing:

  • A heavy sigh escaped her lips as a tear rolled down her cheek.
  • His eyes glistened with unleashed tears that he quickly blinked away.
  • Her heart felt like it was being squeezed by a cold, metal fist.
  • A profound emptiness opened up inside him, threatening to swallow him whole.
  • An avalanche of sorrow crashed over her without warning.
  • His spirit sank like a stone in water.
  • A dark cloud of grief descended on her.
  • Waves of sadness washed over him, pulling him under.
  • She felt like she was drowning in an ocean of melancholy.
  • His eyes darkened with sadness like a gathering storm.
  • Grief enveloped her like a wet blanket, heavy and smothering.
  • The light in his eyes dimmed to a flicker behind tears.
  • Sadness seeped through her veins like icy slush.
  • The corners of his mouth drooped like a wilting flower.
  • Her breath came in short, ragged gasps between sobs.
  • A profound melancholy oozed from his pores.
  • The weight of despair crushed her like a vice.
  • A haunted, hollow look glazed over his eyes.
  • An invisible hand squeezed her heart, wringing out all joy.
  • His soul curdled like spoiled milk.
  • A silent scream lodged in her throat.
  • He was consumed by a fathomless gloom.
  • Sorrow pulsed through her veins with every beat of her heart.
  • Grief blanketed him like new-fallen snow, numbing and icy.
  • Tears stung her eyes like shards of glass.
  • A cold, dark abyss of sadness swallowed him.
  • Melancholy seeped from her like rain from a leaky roof.
  • His spirit shriveled and sank like a deflating balloon.
  • A sick, hollow ache blossomed inside her.
  • Rivulets of anguish trickled down his cheeks.
  • Sadness smothered her like a poisonous fog.
  • Gloom settled on his shoulders like a black shroud.
  • Her sorrow poured out in a river of tears.

Understanding Sadness in Writing

Describing sadness in writing can be a challenging task.

Sadness is a complex emotion that can manifest in different ways. It can be expressed through tears, sighs, silence, or even a simple change in posture. As a writer, you need to be able to convey sadness effectively to your readers, while also avoiding cliches and melodrama.

One way to approach describing sadness is to focus on the physical sensations and reactions that accompany it. For example, you might describe the feeling of a lump in your throat, or the tightness in your chest. You could also describe the way your eyes become watery, or the way your hands tremble.

These physical descriptions can help your readers to empathize with your characters and feel the same emotions.

Another important aspect of describing sadness is the tone of your writing. You want to strike a balance between conveying the depth of the emotion and avoiding excessive sentimentality.

One way to achieve this is to use simple, direct language that conveys the emotion without resorting to flowery language or overwrought metaphors.

When describing sadness, it’s also important to consider the context in which it occurs. Sadness can be a response to many different situations, such as loss, disappointment, or rejection. It can also be accompanied by other emotions, such as anger, confusion, or melancholy.

By considering the context and accompanying emotions, you can create a more nuanced and realistic portrayal of sadness in your writing.

Finally, it can be helpful to draw on examples of how other writers have successfully described sadness. By studying the techniques and descriptions used by other writers, you can gain a better understanding of how to effectively convey sadness in your own writing.

In conclusion, describing sadness in writing requires a careful balance of physical descriptions, tone, context, and examples. By focusing on these elements, you can create a more nuanced and effective portrayal of this complex emotion.

Emotional Spectrum in Characters

In creative writing, it’s important to create characters that are multi-dimensional and have a wide range of emotions. When it comes to describing sadness, it’s essential to understand the emotional spectrum of characters and how they respond to different situations.

Characters can experience a variety of emotions, including love, happiness, surprise, anger, fear, nervousness, and more.

Each character has a unique personality that influences their emotional responses. For example, a protagonist might respond to sadness with a broken heart, dismay, or feeling desolate.

On the other hand, a character might respond with anger, contempt, or apathy.

When describing sadness, it’s important to consider the emotional response of the character. For example, a haunted character might respond to sadness with exhaustion or a sense of being drained. A crestfallen character might respond with a sense of defeat or disappointment.

It’s also important to consider how sadness affects the character’s personality. Some characters might become withdrawn or depressed, while others might become more emotional or volatile. When describing sadness, it’s important to show how it affects the character’s behavior and interactions with others.

Overall, the emotional spectrum of characters is an important aspect of creative writing. By understanding how characters respond to different emotions, you can create more realistic and relatable characters. When describing sadness, it’s important to consider the character’s emotional response, personality, and behavior.

Physical Manifestations of Sadness

When you’re feeling sad, it’s not just an emotion that you experience mentally. It can also manifest physically. Here are some physical manifestations of sadness that you can use in your creative writing to make your characters more believable.

Tears are one of the most common physical manifestations of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, your eyes may start to water, and tears may fall down your cheeks. Tears can be used to show that a character is feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Crying is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may cry. Crying can be used to show that a character is feeling deeply hurt or upset.

Numbness is a physical sensation that can accompany sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may feel emotionally numb. This can be used to show that a character is feeling disconnected from their emotions.

Facial Expressions

Facial expressions can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, your face may droop, and your eyes may look downcast. This can be used to show that a character is feeling down or depressed.

Gestures can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may slump your shoulders or hang your head. This can be used to show that a character is feeling defeated or hopeless.

Body Language

Body language can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may cross your arms or hunch over. This can be used to show that a character is feeling closed off or defensive.

Cold and Heat

Sadness can also affect your body temperature. When you’re feeling sad, you may feel cold or hot. This can be used to show that a character is feeling uncomfortable or out of place.

Sobbing is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may sob uncontrollably. This can be used to show that a character is feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Sweating is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may sweat profusely. This can be used to show that a character is feeling anxious or nervous.

By using these physical manifestations of sadness in your writing, you can make your characters more realistic and relatable. Remember to use them sparingly and only when they are relevant to the story.

Authenticity in Describing Sadness

When it comes to describing sadness in creative writing, authenticity is key. Readers can tell when an author is not being genuine, and it can make the story feel less impactful. In order to authentically describe sadness, it’s important to tap into your own emotions and experiences.

Think about a time when you felt truly sad. What did it feel like? What physical sensations did you experience? How did your thoughts and emotions change? By tapping into your own experiences, you can better convey the emotions of your characters.

It’s also important to remember that sadness can manifest in different ways for different people. Some people may cry, while others may become withdrawn or angry. By understanding the unique ways that sadness can present itself, you can create more authentic and realistic characters.

If you’re struggling to authentically describe sadness, consider talking to a loved one or best friend about their experiences. Hearing firsthand accounts can help you better understand the nuances of the emotion.

Ultimately, the key to authentically describing sadness is to approach it with empathy and understanding. By putting yourself in the shoes of your characters and readers, you can create a powerful and impactful story that resonates with your audience.

Language and Dialogue in Expressing Sadness

When writing about sadness, the language you use can make a big difference in how your readers will perceive the emotions of your characters.

Consider using metaphors and similes to create vivid images that will help your readers connect with the emotions of your characters.

For example, you might describe the sadness as a heavy weight on the character’s chest or a dark cloud hanging over their head.

In addition to using metaphors, you can also use adjectives to describe the character’s emotions. Be careful not to overuse adjectives, as this can detract from the impact of your writing. Instead, choose a few powerful adjectives that will help your readers understand the depth of the character’s sadness.

For example, you might describe the sadness as overwhelming, suffocating, or unbearable.

When it comes to dialogue, it’s important to remember that people don’t always express their emotions directly. In fact, sometimes what isn’t said is just as important as what is said.

Consider using subtext to convey the character’s sadness indirectly. For example, a character might say “I’m fine,” when in reality they are struggling with intense sadness.

Another way to use dialogue to convey sadness is through the use of behaviors. For example, a character might withdraw from social situations, stop eating or sleeping properly, or engage in self-destructive behaviors as a result of their sadness.

By showing these behaviors, you can help your readers understand the depth of the character’s emotions.

Finally, when describing sadness, it’s important to consider the overall mood of the scene. Use sensory details to create a somber atmosphere that will help your readers connect with the emotions of your characters.

For example, you might describe the rain falling heavily outside, the silence of an empty room, or the dim lighting of a funeral home.

Overall, when writing about sadness, it’s important to choose your words carefully and use a variety of techniques to convey the depth of your character’s emotions.

By using metaphors, adjectives, dialogue, behaviors, and sensory details, you can create a powerful and emotionally resonant story that will stay with your readers long after they’ve finished reading.

Expert Views on Emotion

When it comes to writing about emotions, it’s important to have a deep understanding of how they work and how they can be conveyed effectively through writing. Here are some expert views on emotion that can help you write about sadness in a more effective and engaging way.

Dr. Paul Ekman

Dr. Paul Ekman is a renowned psychologist who has spent decades studying emotions and their expressions. According to Dr. Ekman, there are six basic emotions that are universally recognized across cultures: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust.

When it comes to writing about sadness, Dr. Ekman suggests focusing on the physical sensations that accompany the emotion.

For example, you might describe the heaviness in your chest, the lump in your throat, or the tears that well up in your eyes. By focusing on these physical sensations, you can help your readers connect with the emotion on a deeper level.

While sadness is often seen as a “negative” emotion, it’s important to remember that all emotions have their place in creative writing. Disgust, for example, can be a powerful tool for conveying a character’s revulsion or aversion to something.

When writing about disgust, it’s important to be specific about what is causing the emotion. For example, you might describe the smell of rotting garbage, the sight of maggots wriggling in a pile of food, or the texture of slimy, raw meat.

By being specific, you can help your readers feel the full force of the emotion and understand why your character is feeling it.

Overall, when it comes to writing about emotions, it’s important to be both specific and authentic. By drawing on your own experiences and using concrete details to describe the physical sensations and causes of emotions, you can create a more engaging and emotionally resonant piece of writing.

Unique Examples of Describing Sadness

When it comes to describing sadness in creative writing, there are many unique ways to convey this emotion to your readers. Here are some examples that can help you create a powerful and moving scene:

  • The crying scene : One of the most common ways to show sadness is through tears. However, instead of just saying “she cried,” try to describe the crying scene in detail. For instance, you could describe how her tears fell like raindrops on the floor, or how her sobs shook her body like a violent storm. This will help your readers visualize the scene and feel the character’s pain.
  • The socks : Another way to show sadness is through symbolism. For example, you could describe how the character is wearing mismatched socks, which represents how her life is falling apart and nothing seems to fit together anymore. This can be a subtle yet effective way to convey sadness without being too obvious.
  • John : If your character is named John, you can use his name to create a sense of melancholy. For example, you could describe how the raindrops fell on John’s shoulders, weighing him down like the burdens of his life. This can be a creative way to convey sadness while also adding depth to your character.

Remember, when describing sadness in creative writing, it’s important to be specific and use vivid language. This will help your readers connect with your character on a deeper level and feel their pain.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some effective ways to describe a person’s sadness without using the word ‘sad’.

When describing sadness, it’s important to avoid using the word “sad” as it can come across as cliché and lackluster. Instead, try using more descriptive words that evoke a sense of sadness in the reader. For example, you could use words like “heartbroken,” “bereft,” “devastated,” “despondent,” or “forlorn.” These words help to create a more vivid and emotional description of sadness that readers can connect with.

How can you describe the physical manifestations of sadness on a person’s face?

When describing the physical manifestations of sadness on a person’s face, it’s important to pay attention to the small details. For example, you could describe the way their eyes become red and swollen from crying, or how their mouth trembles as they try to hold back tears. You could also describe the way their shoulders slump or how they withdraw into themselves. By focusing on these small but telling details, you can create a more realistic and relatable portrayal of sadness.

What are some examples of using metaphor and simile to convey sadness in creative writing?

Metaphors and similes can be powerful tools for conveying sadness in creative writing. For example, you could compare a person’s sadness to a heavy weight that they’re carrying on their shoulders, or to a storm cloud that follows them wherever they go. You could also use metaphors and similes to describe the way sadness feels, such as a “gnawing ache” in the pit of their stomach or a “cold, empty void” inside their chest.

How can you effectively convey the emotional weight of sadness through dialogue?

When writing dialogue for a character who is experiencing sadness, it’s important to focus on the emotions and feelings that they’re experiencing. Use short, simple sentences to convey the character’s sadness, and avoid using overly complex language or metaphors. You could also use pauses and silences to create a sense of emotional weight and tension in the scene.

What are some techniques for describing a character’s inner sadness in a way that is relatable to the reader?

One effective technique for describing a character’s inner sadness is to focus on their thoughts and feelings. Use introspection to delve into the character’s emotions and describe how they’re feeling in a way that is relatable to the reader. You could also use flashbacks or memories to show why the character is feeling sad, and how it’s affecting their current actions and decisions.

How can you use sensory language to create a vivid portrayal of sadness in a poem or story?

Sensory language is an effective way to create a vivid portrayal of sadness in a poem or story. Use descriptive words that evoke the senses, such as the smell of rain on a sad day or the sound of a distant train whistle. You could also use sensory language to describe the physical sensations of sadness, such as the weight of a heavy heart or the taste of tears on the tongue. By using sensory language, you can create a more immersive and emotional reading experience for your audience.

how to describe a slap in creative writing

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How to Write a Fight Scene

Posted on Jul 31, 2020

Avatar Of Hannah Lee Kidder

Written by Hannah Lee Kidder

Whether they’re heated arguments, hand-to-hand combat scenes, or massive battles, fight scenes show up in most genres, and they’re really hard to nail!

Let’s talk about what makes a good fight scene, look at examples, and then discuss some tips for writing your own.

What makes a good fight scene?

While all writing, and what makes it good , is typically subjective, what you can find are similarities and “rules” that primarily make for an exciting fight scene.

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#1 – Relevance

Your fight scene shouldn’t just be there for the sake of being there. It should intertwine with your plot and characters, just like any other scene. How does it up the stakes in the writing ?

Why are those characters involved? What are their goals? 

#2 – Excitement

BUT it should still be exciting! Just because your fight scene is relevant, doesn’t mean it’s allowed to be boring.

Fight scenes are one type that should always be to get your audience hyped up or entertained. They can be dramatic or upsetting, but never boring .

#3 – Subtext and depth

As with all scenes, there should be something deeper than what is happening on the page.

What is going unsaid? Why are your characters fighting? Do any of them have a secret goal or agenda that they’re covering with some other excuse? What do they stand to lose? What do they stand to gain?

#4 – Characterization

Fight scenes should have a strong character presence. If you could replace one of your characters with another character and the scene would end up the same, your characterization is not strong enough.

Even in a large battle, it should be balanced with closer shots of your main characters (or the characters we should care about most in that fight scene).

Examples of fight scenes

One of the best ways to learn what works is to dive in and learn from examples. Below are some examples of great fight scenes along with what makes them great.

When reading, start to notice what is working with a fight scene, what you like and how you can emulate it.

Fight Scene Examples #1

Here’s an example from I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak. The main character beating up Gavin Rose for his own good–he doesn’t want to do it. It is very focused, nearly sterile.

There is no passion or anger, or really any emotion at all. This is a good example of how tone can affect a scene.

My hands reach down and grab him by the collar.

I feel like I’m outside myself.

I watch myself drag Gavin Rose into the bush and beat him down to the grass, the dirt, and the fallen tree branches.

My fists clutter on his face and I put a hole in his stomach.

The boy cries and begs. His voice twitches. “Don’t kill me, don’t kill me…”

I see his eyes and make sure not to meet them, and I put my fist onto his nose to eliminate any vision he might have had. He’s hurt, but I keep going. I need to make sure he can’t move by the time I’m done with him.

I can smell how scared he is.

It pours out of him. It reaches up and stuffs itself into my nose.

I see his eyes and make sure not to meet them – he doesn’t want to be associated with this. He is doing it out of duty, for Gavin’s own good. It’s clearly not something he takes pleasure in. He might even be ashamed of it.

I can smell how scared he is. It pours out of him. It reaches up and stuffs itself into my nose . – this description really shows how much the main character does not want to be doing this. The tone is evident throughout that this isn’t something enjoyable or validating. It’s business.

This scene is relevant, exciting, characterizing, and has a subtext and depth.

Fight Scene Example #2

This next excerpt is from The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis. Four people fight a serpent witch:

The instrument dropped from her hands. Her arms appeared to be fastened to her sides. Her legs were intertwined with each other, and her feet had disappeared. The long green train of her skirt thickened and grew solid, and seemed to be all one piece with the writhing green pillar of her interlocked legs. And that writhing green pillar was curving and swaying as if it had no joints, or else were all joints. Her head was thrown far back and while her nose grew longer and longer, every other part of her face seemed to disappear, except her eyes. Huge flaming eyes they were now, without brows or lashes.

All this takes time to write down; it happened so quickly that there was only just time to see it. Long before there was time to do anything, the change was complete, and the great serpent which the Witch had become, green as poison, thick as Jill’s waist, had flung two or three coils of its loathsome body round the Prince’s legs. Quick as lightning another great loop darted round, intending to pinion his sword-arm to his side. But the Prince was just in time. He raised his arms and got them clear: the living knot closed only round his chest — ready to crack his ribs like firewood when it drew tight.

The Prince caught the creature’s neck in his left hand, trying to squeeze it till it choked. This held its face (if you could call it a face) about five inches from his own. The forked tongue flickered horribly in and out, but could not reach him. With his right hand he drew back his sword for the strongest blow he could give.

Meanwhile Scrubb and Puddleglum had drawn their weapons and rushed to his aid. All three blows fell at once: Scrubb’s (which did not even pierce the scales and did no good) on the body of the snake below the Prince’s hand, but the Prince’s own blow and Puddleglum’s both on its neck. Even that did not quite kill it, though it began to loosen its hold on Rilian’s legs and chest. With repeated blows they hacked off its head. The horrible thing went on coiling and moving like a bit of wire long after it had died; and the floor, as you may imagine, was a nasty mess.

This fight scene tracks several characters, describing what is necessary. It doesn’t randomly hop around to tell us irrelevant things the characters are doing; it describes the important details of their interactions with each other and with the enemy.

The scene acts as a turning point for Rilian, who was previously under the serpent witch’s spell. It is relevant, exciting, and–since we see Rilian have such a big change–it is characterizing.

Fight Scene Example #3

Here’s the final battle scene from Redwall by Brian Jacques. This shows a large scale fight scene.

Cluny plucked the blazing torch from Killconey’s grasp. He flung it at the face of the oncoming warrior. Matthias deflected it with his shield in a cascade of sparks and went after the horde leader. To gain a brief respite, Cluny pushed Killconey into Matthias. The ferret grappled vainly but was cloven in two with one swift stroke. Matthias stepped over the slain ferret, whirling his sword expertly as he pursued Cluny. Ignoring his unprotected back, Matthias failed to see Fang-burn stealing up behind him. The rat raised his cutlass in both claws, but, before he could strike, Constance had hurled the net over him.

Fangbura struggled like a landed fish as the big badger picked up the net and swung it several times against the gatehouse wall. Dropping the lifeless thing, Constance plunged with a terrifying roar into a pack of weasels.

The thick tail of the Warlord flicked out venomously at Matthias’s face. He covered swiftly with his shield as the poisoned metal barb clanged harmlessly off it. Cluny tried again, this time whipping the tail speedily at the young mouse’s unprotected legs. Matthias leaped nimbly to one side and swung the sword in a flashing arc. Cluny roared with pain as it severed the tip of his tail. The bloodied stub lay on the grass with the barb still attached. Hurling the Abbot’s chair at his adversary, the rat seized an iron spike. Metal clashed on metal as the Warrior Mouse parried Cluny’s thrusts. 

They battled across the green Abbey lawns, right through the center of the maelstrom of warring creatures. Oblivious to the fighting around them they sought to destroy each other, hacking, stabbing, lunging and swinging in mortal combat.

Meanwhile, teams of Sparra warriors were jointly lifting struggling rats and flying high to drop them into the middle of the Abbey pond. Ferrets had cornered a band of shrews and were threatening to massacre them when a column of otters sprang to the rescue. Keeping heavy pebbles locked in their slings, they battered continuously at the ferrets.

Cluny stood in the center of the room, his one eye straining to catch sight of Matthias in the belfry. Blood dripped from the dozen wounds die mouse warrior had inflicted upon him during the course of their battle. But now he knew he had won; the voices had been right; he would soon see the last of the mouse Warrior. “Come on down, mouse, Cluny the Scourge is waiting for you,” he cried.

Matthias stood up on the wooden beam. With one mighty blow from the blade of the ancient battle-scarred sword he severed the rope holding the Joseph Bell. It appeared to hang in space for a second, then it dropped like a massive stone.

Cluny remained riveted to the spot, his eye staring upwards. Before he had time to think it was too late. . . .

The Joseph Bell tolled its last, huge knell. The colossal weight of metal smashed Cluny the Scourge flat upon the stone floor of the bell tower.

Wearily, Matthias the Warrior descended the spiral stairs, sword in hand. He led the sobbing little friar out of his hiding place. Together they stood and stared at the Joseph Bell where it lay, cracked clean through the center. From beneath it there protruded a bloodied claw and a smashed tail.

Matthias spoke, “I kept my promise to you, Cluny. I came down. Hush now, Friar Hugo. It’s all over now. Wipe your eyes.”

Together the friends opened the door and walked out into the sunlight of a summer morning. Redwall had won the final battle.

The bodies of both armies lay scattered thick upon the grass and stones where they had fallen. Many were sparrows, shrews and woodland defenders, but they were far outnumbered by the slain rats, ferrets, weasels and stoats.

Nowhere was there one of Cluny’s infamous horde left alive.

Jacques tells a cohesive, intelligible narrative–he describes in a way that makes logical, linear sense. It isn’t just random description of random characters fighting. We stay on the main characters, we know what they’re doing and why, and he intersperses with description of the rest of the army, so we can feel the tension growing, and, eventually, know who’s winning. This shows a good balance between narrow and wide battle description.

Now that we know what different kinds of fight scenes look like, let’s look at some tips for how to write our own! 

5 tips for writing a great fight scene

Want to write an epic fight scene of your own? These are some top tips to make sure your scene is received with sweating hands and hammering hearts.

#1 – Make sure you need a fight scene

Fight scenes are fun, but they shouldn’t be included just for the sake of having a fight scene. Like any scene, it should be imperative to your plot, characters, or (ideally) both.

Your character should have an actual motivation to fight. If they don’t, you likely don’t need to include the scene. Even if they’re acting in self-defense, there needs to be a reason that your character is being attacked.

Once you make sure you fight scene is necessary:

#2 – Nail the pacing

If your scene is too brief, you might confuse the reader. If your scene is too drawn out, your reader might get bored.

Give enough detail for it to make sense and engage, but not so much that it’s a pain to read.

#3 – Make it interesting

Instead of describing every single punch or kick or stab just to make sure your reader is following along for every muscle twitch the characters make, try to describe actions that are interesting and exciting , and actions that characterize . 

For example, anyone can slap someone in the face. But if your character is fierce, and maybe a little nasty, they might BITE someone. That is a more unique move, which characterizes, and it’s much more interesting to read than a slap.

Maybe your character is resourceful, so their fight scenes involve heavy interaction with the environment–grabbing weapons or using objects to trip up their opponents.

If your character is prone to panic, maybe they overthink and hesitate too much, inevitably losing the fight.

Think about your character, why they’re fighting, how they’d fight, and then make it interesting.

#4 – Work in interior thoughts and dialogue

This is a good way to break up fight scenes so they aren’t straight action (which can get boring), and it will give you another opportunity to show why the scene matters.

What’s happening with the characters internal struggle? What are they saying to each other? Maybe they have allies they’re communicating with to add a layer of action and interaction?

Their interior thoughts can also help to guide the scene and clarify your characters’ motivations.

#5 – Avoid being unintentionally repetitive

It’s easy just to describe a character, beat-for-beat, in the same sentence structure:

She grabbed a brick. She slammed it into his head. She punched him. She tripped over her own feet. She died .

So make sure you’re varying sentence length, the type of sentence, and the first words and last words of sentences.

Here’s a video that illustrates these five tips with real life examples.

Keep your fight scenes relevant and exciting, and, like with any scene, layer them to be as dynamic and characterizing as you can! 

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how to describe a slap in creative writing

Cheat Sheets For Writing Body Language

What is body language and how do you use it when you write? Use these cheat sheets to help you with your body language descriptions.

What Is Body Language?

People react to situations with micro-expressions, hand gestures, and posture. Most of us are not even aware of them. However, what we do with our body language has a huge impact on other people and how they interpret and perceive us.

‘Even when they don’t express their thoughts verbally, most people constantly throw off clues to what they’re thinking and feeling. Non-verbal messages communicated through the sender’s body movements, facial expressions, vocal tone and volume, and other clues are collectively known as body language.’ ( Psychology Today )

Body language happens when we are doing something. We could be sitting, standing, or walking. We could be talking or thinking . Body language is often an involuntary reaction to something perceived by one of the five senses .

How To Use It In Writing

Using body language is one of the best ways to show and not tell when we write.

This is why we are always told to use body language in our writing. Sometimes, it’s easier said than written. So, I created these cheat sheets to help you show a character’s state of mind through their body language.

When you are completing your character biographies , be sure to include how your main characters move and talk. This is especially important for your protagonist , antagonist , confidant , and love interest . They are the characters that hold the story together and they should be as well-rounded and believable as possible.

The Top Five Tips For Using Body Language

  • Use body language to add depth to dialogue .
  • Use it because more than 50% of human communication is non-verbal.
  • Use it to show how your character’s emotions affect their actions.
  • Use it to help you show rather than tell your reader everything.
  • Use it in moderation. If overused, it can slow your story down.

TIP: Use our Character Creation Kit  to create great characters for your stories.

Use this list to help you with your body language descriptions. It will help you to translate emotions and thoughts into written body language.

Obviously, a character may exhibit a number of these behaviours. For example, they may be shocked and angry, or shocked and happy.

Use these combinations as needed.

Cheat Sheets For Body Language

Use our  Character Creation Kit  to create great characters for your stories.

how to describe a slap in creative writing

If you enjoyed this, read:

  • The 17 Most Popular Genres In Fiction – And Why They Matter
  • How To Write A One-Page Synopsis
  • 123 Ideas For Character Flaws – A Writer’s Resource
  • The 7 Critical Elements Of A Great Book
  • All About Parts Of Speech
  • Punctuation For Beginners
  • 5 Incredibly Simple Ways to Help Writers Show and Not Tell
  • 5  Instances When You Need To Tell (And Not Show)
  • The 4 Main Characters As Literary Devices
  • 106 Ways To Describe Sounds

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Top Tip : Find out more about our workbooks and online courses in our shop .

  • Body Language , Creating Characters , Show Don't Tell , Writing Tips from Amanda Patterson

53 thoughts on “Cheat Sheets For Writing Body Language”

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Wow….that’s probably one of the most useful lists I’ve ever seen…thanks!

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Very useful…simply superb. Will be handy for me when I sit down to write next time.

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A mullion trillion thanks for this incredibly useful page of “show” instead of telling. Thank you xx

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I would have liked to pin this on pint rest 🙁

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This is the best of the “show” lists I have either made or found. Superb.

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Love, love, love these! Thanks for compiling them. I’m going to share them and put them in a file to resource. Michelle Random Writing Rants

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This is very useful.

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Its really helpful….

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great post really!!! thanks for sharing

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This is one of the most helpful writer’s guide posts I have ever seen. It is so hard not to write “He looked at her in awe”, but think about the specific body language in that situation. It also helps think about the traits a character can have… Every person is different so one can even put individuality into the writing by giving certain characters characteristic emotional expressions.

Thank you so much for sharing this!!

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Thank you, Kimberley.

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I know I’ll be referring back to this list often. Thank you so much for sharing.

Thank you, Melissa.

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Perhaps this is the best way to hone up the writing skills of one’s own and I should be very thankful to you for helping the writers through this .

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This is dangerous if astute advice. Anything that aids progress writing is useful, but anything that aids progress stops you thinking – and it is only by thinking that he universe opens a portal and pours out something original.

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Great information not only for writing but observation of these behaviors in action. As a school counselor I am interested in non-verbal cues from others.

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Great work! high degree of observation! really impressed.

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This is great. There is one word that comes up SO OFTEN that it is distracting to me as a reader and that is “gaze.” People are gazing at things, at each other, they’re gazing all over the place. One time I counted the number of times “gaze” was used in a book and found an instance of 5 times in 4 consecutive pages. But another book used “gaze” 5 times in 4 consecutive PARAGRAPHS. Why the editors don’t catch this is beyond me. My favorite “gaze” quote from a book is, “Her brown gaze settled upon the distant mountains.” That didn’t make me think of her brown eyes. My first thought was that she was seeing smog! Is it strange to say a color with “gaze”? I’ve also seen something like, “His blue gaze swung up.” (the man was driving at the time) It sounds strange to me, but maybe that’s just me. The book with the distant mountains sentence used “gaze” heavily from the second page all the way to the second to the last paragraph! It was painful to read. I got rid of the book.

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Very helpful to have this all in one place! Thanks!!!

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Thank you! This is great! 🙂

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Thank you for this post. It’s very helpful.

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This is a good list. But I believe we can always be a little more creative in mixing them up to denote various degrees and subtleties in an emotion.

Yes, Ayan. As it says in the post: ‘Obviously, a character may exhibit a number of these behaviours. For example, he may be shocked and angry, or shocked and happy. Use these combinations as needed.’

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These cheat sheets are worth their weight in gold! Thank you for taking the time to put them together.

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AWESOME! I was just speaking with a friend who mentioned I needed to do this a little more. Thank you so much.

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such an amazingly helpful post! Thank you!

Thank you. We’re glad you find this useful.

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Melody, Would have ditched that book too. That’s just bad writing.

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Please send me any further articles you put out. This one is very helpful. It makes us aware of the use of each movement as a symbol of inner thought. Thanks

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This is the most helpful article I have read about telling vs. Showing. Thank you.

Thank you, Wendy.

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Thanks for this really usefull I find that I use the same emotions over and over.

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Thank you! This is an excellent reference for a desirable result.

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“Excellent list,” she said, rubbing her hands together and grinning. ; ) Thank you!

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Thank you, Melissa! I love it!!

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Excellent!!

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I read this very useful and generous article on stumbleupon.com Thank you for sharing your knowledge with me!

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Thank you for the positive feedback. I’m pleased that this helps.

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Thank you for this :))

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Thanks for the helpful post! Great resource for the scripts I’m co-writing.

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Simply superb compilation ! No more adjectives.

Thank you! We’re glad that you find these lists helpful.

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Very useful! Thank you so much!

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What a succinct and useful list!

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“Unfortunately,” (pause, lips pursed indicating deliberation and thought) “these are almost” (stress on final word, downward tilt of the head with slight inclination to the left as the speaker maintains gaze on listener indicating mock-serious intent) “entirely” (extra stress on this word, head lifts and turns full-on indicating intent) “cliché” (jaw firms, slight downward shift of the brow, eyes narrow indicating mild annoyance.) “Sorry” (head lifts, jaw pushes out, eyebrows raised indicating belligerence and complete lack of genuine apology).

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quite informative, and precise. thanks.

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i’m highly grateful to you, thanks a lot n million, may god bless you a long and happy life

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This is so useful! Thank you, thank you very much!

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OMG! I impressed to read it. Really, you are doing good job.

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Very informative thanks!

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I need something different for pleading. and it’s not on the list. Why is the emotion I want not almost never on the lists? xP (Arg)

Comments are closed.

© Writers Write 2022

Does this sound like a good description of someone falling asleep due exhaustion? Anything I can do to make it sound better? [closed]

I'm trying to describe somebody falling asleep from exhaustion, in first person. I'm currently using a longer, detailed description, but is that the best way?

Never had a few moments deliberation seemed like an eternity as I feel my consciousness ebbing away, and my thoughts, as clear and concise as they were mere moments ago, were coming to an end. My eyes grow heavy from the strenuous effects of excessive agitation of the brain--that faculty which, in all its strength, I had not prepared for such a weakness. At once, I was struck with incoherence, an inconsistency to my thoughts, as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall—for I had already decided to give myself away to my pursuer, to exhaustion , to be dead to the world before the rest of me ever hit the cold concrete floor…
  • creative-writing

Monica Cellio's user avatar

  • 1 @MonicaCellio : I'd think under current site rules, we'd close this as a critique question. Any reason you edited rather than closing? –  Standback Commented Aug 9, 2015 at 4:55
  • @Standback my finger hovered over the "close" link, but it seemed like this could be tweaked to ask a more specific question, and it seems like the level of detail/verbosity is the key factor here. But I could go either way -- there were no votes from the community, so I tried the edit. –  Monica Cellio Commented Aug 9, 2015 at 4:57
  • Just how import is sleeping to the story and the character doing it? With a long winded description like this, it's like waving a red flag and shouting into a blow horn saying: This is important remember this! If it's not important, say: I fell asleep. Move the story along never fall so in love with your own writing that the story is pushed back for overdone descriptions. –  darkocean Commented Aug 24, 2017 at 4:17

4 Answers 4

A bit too wordy for my taste, but that's purely subjective. I'd have to see the rest of the piece to make a better judgement. The overall imagery could work. The long, run-on sentences work well in showing fatigue, but some of it might need a bit of a clean up. For example:

My eyes grow heavy from the overwhelming effects of excessive agitation of the brain for which, in all its power, I had not prepared for its weakness.

This sentence is just not right. If you leave out the inserted sentence "in all its power", you get:

My eyes grow heavy from the overwhelming effects of excessive agitation of the brain for which I had not prepared for its weakness.

which makes no sense, grammatically.

At once, I was struck with incoherence—an inconsistency to my thoughts, as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall—for I had already decided to give myself away to my pursuer—to exhaustion—to be dead to the world before the rest of me ever hit the cold concrete floor…

There are so many — here that I don't know to what they refer to, what sections are they surrounding. For example, it looks as if "—an inconsistency to my thoughts, as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall—" is an inserted sentence, which makes no sense. I believe you were going for "At once, I was struck with incoherence — an inconsistency to my thoughts — as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall" but even so, the em dashes make it so awkward. I think it would look somewhat clearer like this:

At once, I was struck with incoherence, an inconsistency to my thoughts, as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall—for I had already decided to give myself away to my pursuer, to exhaustion, to be dead to the world before the rest of me ever hit the cold concrete floor…

It's still a pretty awkward sentence though. As I said already, long, run-on sentences are perfect for this situation, but they still need to be clear and readable to the reader. I had to go back several times to get my head around it.

Tannalein's user avatar

  • Your very helpful! I will make some changes and re post for you. Your very thorough and it is very refreshing to get an intellectual response to my question! Thank You! –  Shawn Commented Jul 5, 2013 at 22:53
  • Okay. Made some changes. Let me know if it sounds better. If you would like a few pages worth of the works before and after this piece. Please feel free to let me know and I can email them to you. Thanks! –  Shawn Commented Jul 5, 2013 at 23:00

Using shorter sentences (and varying their length) can make the piece more readable:

Never had a brief span seem like an eternity. As I feel my consciousness ebbing away, as clear and concise as it was mere moments ago, it was coming to an end. My eyes grow heavy from the strenuous effects of excessive agitation. At once, I was struck with incoherence, an inconsistency to my thoughts, as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall. I decided to give myself away to my pursuer, to exhaustion. And I would be dead to the world before the rest of me ever hit the cold concrete floor.

I'm not sure if the piece makes sense after my edit. But you get the idea.

wyc's user avatar

I'm not clear on the timing. Is this first person narrative in the moment, or the narrator recalling the event after the fact? If it is the former, it is overwritten by about 100 to 1, since someone that exhausted shouldn't be able to think such detailed imagery. If it is the latter, the present tense should be changed to past tense.

STSagas's user avatar

My eyes flickered into darkness due to exhaustion.

user14816's user avatar

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how to describe a slap in creative writing

KathySteinemann.com: Free Resources for Writers

Word lists, cheat sheets, and sometimes irreverent reviews of writing rules. kathy steinemann is the author of the writer's lexicon series..

how to describe a slap in creative writing

600+ Ways to Describe Lips, Mouths: A Word List for Writers

Ways to Describe Lips and Mouths

(Discover even more words in The Writer’s Body Lexicon .)

First Impressions

Your first mental image when thinking about lips or mouths might be a passionate kiss. Percy Bysshe Shelley said, “Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips.” However, lips and mouths are more than kissing (or eating) machines. This post provides hundreds of ways to describe them in creative writing and poetry.

Emotion Beats and Physical Manifestations

The way people move their lips and mouths reflects overt or hidden emotions.

Pouting might indicate agitation, aggravation, confusion, contemplation, disapproval, disbelief, dislike, exasperation, flirtatiousness, impatience, irritability, nervousness, pessimism, resentment, sadness, skepticism, suspicion, wariness, worry, etc.

In fact, pouting can imply so many emotions that it’s probably best to consider alternative body language.

A few more emotions mirrored by lips and mouths include:

Adulation, arousal, flirtatiousness parted lips running tongue over one’s lips

Anticipation of a delicious snack or entrée smacking one’s lips watering/salivating mouth

Determination pressing one’s lips into a thin line

Dislike pressing one’s lips into a thin line

Fear bad taste in one’s mouth chewing on one’s lips clenched mouth dry mouth gaping mouth gulping huge mouthfuls of air licking one’s lips trembling lips

Impatience pinched lips

Repressed hatred pressing one’s lips into a thin line

Shyness pinched lips

Skepticism biting one’s lips

Stubbornness tight lips or mouth

Uncertainty forceful exhalation through pursed lips

If you need additional beats, consult a body language dictionary . (As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.)

Adjectives (1)

Adjectives such as haughty save words by telling about a character’s motives or personality . Use sparingly — although they function well in flash fiction or third-person omniscient point of view, and when you want to speed the pace.

Several adjectives, when describing lips, may suggest something different when describing mouths.

Provocative lips might indicate a seductive tone, but a provocative mouth might be aggravating.

Demanding lips evoke a sexual image, whereas a demanding mouth implies an overbearing character.

Generous lips might be large, or they might be yielding and responsive. Provide context if necessary.

Rather than modify lips or mouth , a number of the following words could refer to faces, expressions, or motivations.

Many skin attributes also perform well as lips and mouth descriptors.

A and B active, adulterous, adventurous, affectionate, aflame, aggressive, alluring, amorous, amorphous, ample, appealing, ardent, audacious, avid, awkward, barbarous, belligerent, bewitching, bitchy, bitter, bloody, bone-dry, bony, Botoxed, boyish, brash, brutal, busy

C cadaverous, callous, capable, capacious, careworn, carnivorous, caustic, cautious, cavernous, chaste, cheerful, cheery, childlike, clumsy, coarse, coherent, cold, complacent, conspicuous, contemptuous, corrugated, critical, crooked, cruel, crumpled, cynical

D and E dainty, dead, delectable, delicate, delicious, demanding, demure, desirous, desiccated, determined, devilish, disdainful, dispirited, disrespectful, dissatisfied, doll-like, dour, downcast, droll, dry, eager, effeminate, elastic, electric, eloquent, energetic, enigmatic, enthusiastic, evil, expectant, experienced, expressionless, expressive, exquisite

F and G fascinating, fevered, feverish, fine, firm, flaccid, flat, flawless, fleshy, flexible, flirtatious, foolish, forceful, formless, foul, fragile, fragrant, frigid, frothy, full, furrowed, furtive, generous, gentle, girlie, girlish, glassy, glib, glossy, gnomish, goofy, grave, greasy, greedy, grim, grotesque

H and I hard, haughty, heartless, heavy, helpless, heretical, hesitant, honeyed, hungry, icy, impassioned, impassive, impatient, imperious, impertinent, impetuous, implacable, impudent, incoherent, inflamed, inflexible, innocent, insatiable, inscrutable, insubstantial, intractable, inviolate, irreverent

J to M juicy, kissable, lax, leathery, lecherous, lewd, libelous, libidinous, licentious, lifeless, loathsome, loose, lopsided, lovable, luscious, lush, lustful, malicious, manly, masculine, masterful, meager, meaty, merciless, merry, mischievous, misshapen, moist, motionless, mute, mutinous

N to P narrow, nasty, naughty, nervous, numb, obstinate, oily, oversized, passionate, pathetic, pebbly, perfect, perfumed, petulant, pinched, piquant, playful, pliable, pliant, plump, practiced, prim, prodigious, profane, proficient, prominent, proud, provocative, puffy, pugnacious

Q and R querulous, randy, rapacious, ravenous, raw, relentless, reluctant, repulsive, resolute, responsive, restless, reticent, reverent, rigid, ripe, rough, rubbery, ruthless

S sacrilegious, sad, sarcastic, sardonic, sassy, satirical, saucy, savage, scabrous, scaly, scornful, scurrilous, seductive, sensitive, sensuous, serious, sexy , shapeless, shrunken, silent, silky, sinful, skillful, slack, slick, slippery, sloppy, smooth, soft, sore, sour, spicy, stained, starving, stern, sticky, stiff, stony, strong, stubborn, submissive, succulent, sulky, sullen, sultry, sunken, sweet, swollen

T and U talented, tense, tentative, thick, thin, thirsty, tight, timid, toothless, tough, traitorous, tremulous, truculent, ugly , uncertain, uncooperative, unrelenting, unresponsive, unsatisfied, unsmiling, unwilling, unyielding, upturned

V to Y vacuous, virgin, voluble, voluptuous, voracious, vulgar, wanton, warm, waspish, waxen, well-cut, wet, wide, willing, winsome, wistful, withered, witty, wormy, worshipful, wrinkled, wry, yielding, youthful

Adjectives (2): Upper Lip

Although some of these adjectives might suit lips or mouth , they excel for describing the upper lip:

B to W bifurcated, bushy, clean-shaven, furry, hairless, hairy, long, mustachioed, naked, perspiring, short, stubbly, sweaty, whiskered

Adjectives (3): Lower Lip

Likewise for the lower lip:

D to S droopy, exaggerated, floppy, generous, missing, non-existent, pendulous, sagging, soul-patched, split, square-cut

Adjectives (Misc.)

Besides describing lips and mouths, writers can:

  • Describe the teeth , or mention missing teeth
  • Describe a person’s smile .

Similes and Metaphors

When creating comparisons, familiar animals are a good place to start. Readers know what they look like and will conjure an immediate image of the lips so compared.

Some of the following act as adjectives, while others function best in as or like similes. For example:

Fred had horse lips .

Fred had lips that looked like they belonged on a horse .

A to Z angel fish, apish, baboon, baboon’s butt, bestial, bovine, camel, Cheshire cat [cliché], chimpanzee, chipmunk, dead fish, duck, frog, giraffe, goldfish, horse, largemouth bass, leeches, lizard, porcupine’s back, raw oysters, reptilian, serpentine, simian, squirrel, toad, twin slugs, zebra

Other comparisons could include:

A to V ancient prunes, angel’s cheek, blow-up doll’s maw, bread dough, cherries, embers, glue, lily petals, overstuffed sausages, pincushion, pinecone, plum, pomegranate blossoms, raspberries, raw liver, rose petals, rosebuds, rubies, sandpaper, satin, suction cups, twin cacti, velvet, vise grips

And here are a few more thought starters:

awkward as a newborn trying to find Mama’s nipple

big ger than someone’s ego

deader than a slab of cement

dry as the Sahara

foul as an overflowing cesspit

fragile as butterfly wings

large as Texas

like a cow chewing its cud

moist like morning dew

more brutal than a pounding sledgehammer

smelly as an old sock

Foods excel as color substitutes. Words such as cherry , bubble-gum , and tangerine capture color, scent, and taste.

In a modern novel, lipstick and stage makeup allow lips to be almost any color. Not so in a Victorian-era piece.

A to W anemone-pink, ashen, bloodless, bubble-gum, burgundy, carnelian, cherry, colorless, coral, coralline-red, cotton-candy, crimson, flamingo, florid, freckled, golden, grey/gray, licorice-twist, pale, pallid, pasty, peach, pink, purple, red, rosy, ruddy, seashell-pink, sunburnt, sunset-scarlet, swarthy, tangerine, vermillion, wan, wine-red

See also 1000+ Ways to Describe Colors .

Many of the following words function well in similes or can be converted to adjectives by adding suffixes such as –like , -ish , or –esque .

A to Y apical, asymmetrical, bleeding heart, blimp, bow, cherry pie, cinnamon roll, cinnamon-heart, doughnut, fishy, goldfish, heart, inner tube, O-ring, peaked, petal (name specific flower), shapeless, shapely, sharp, stop sign, unsymmetrical, toilet boil, urinal, watermelon, wedding ring, yield sign

Some verbs relay feelings or senses of the POV character, while others are appropriate for secondary players.

Consider antonyms. Rather than belittle , a mother’s lips might praise her child. Instead of relaxing his lips, an uptight worrywart might tense them.

You might prefer to pair many of these verbs with characters themselves rather than their body parts. Listen to your writer’s voice and choose what works best for you.

B to R belittle, blister, burn, caress, clamp, clench, close, coax, coerce, compress, contort, crack, crimp, criticize, curl, denounce, deprecate, dribble, drool, entice, force, fuse, gossip, graze, heal, insult, kiss, loosen, lure, meld, open, perspire, practice, press, pucker, purse, quirk, relax, respond

S to Y salivate, scrunch, seal, slaver, slide, slither, slobber, smart, smooch, sparkle, spasm, spit, squirm, squish together, sting, stretch, suck, sweat, swell, tempt, throb, tighten, tingle, turn down, turn up, twist, ulcerate, unlock, yield

Inventing nouns to replace lips or mouth can lead to silent snickers while you hunch over your keyboard or pore through your favorite thesaurus. Try some of these.

B to Y bazoo, blower, bragger, cakehole, chops, doughnut disposal, doughnut hole, flycatcher, flytrap, food vacuum, gob, hatch, hot-air vent, jabberjaw, kisser, laughing gear, maw, motormouth, mug slit, mush, muzzle, nagger, oral cavity, oral orifice, phiz slit, pie hole, puss, skull cave, soup sucker, trap, woofer, word hole, yap, yapper, yodeler

Add humor, suspense, or atmosphere with well-chosen props.

Does your protagonist notice a roll of duct tape on the counter in his apartment, then whip around to see a face -masked intruder with a gag in hand? Duct tape + gag = kidnapping. Or maybe an amorous encounter. Or__________?

A to W acne, asthma inhaler, baby bottle, blueberries, chewing tobacco, cigar, cigarette, coughing fit, dirt, duct tape, electric razor, facemask, flute, gag, glitter, handkerchief, intubation tube, kazoo, lipstick, mouth guard, mouth organ, mud pie, mustache, muzzle, nebulizer, oboe, piercings, pimples, pipe, razor, scar, scuba regulator, sneezing, snorkel, soot, soother, spit, spit up, stain, straw, teeth, thumb, tic, tissue, tongue, toothpaste, toothpick, trumpet, veil, wart, whistle

Clichés and Idioms That Include Lips or Mouth

Some narrators might warrant trite phrases, but it’s usually best to avoid them — except in dialogue.

all mouth and trousers: arrogant, brash, brazen

born with a silver spoon in one’s mouth: privileged, wealthy

by word of mouth: orally, verbally, via gossip

down in the mouth: dejected, depressed, glum, sad

on everyone’s lips: popular [topic of conversation], trending, widely discussed

slip of the lip: inadvertent mistake [while speaking]

stiff upper lip: fortitude, resignation, stoicism

straight from the horse’s mouth: from a reliable source

through word of mouth: orally, person to person, verbally

to button one’s lip: hush, keep quiet, shut up, stop talking

to foam at the mouth: fume, rage, rant, seethe

to give some lip: disrespect, sass, speak rudely

to have a stiff upper lip: display fortitude, exercise restraint, remain resolute [in the face of adversity]

to have one’s heart in one’s mouth: be afraid , alarmed, apprehensive, or terrified

to leave a bad taste in one’s mouth: nauseate, repulse, disgust

to live hand to mouth: barely get by, eke out an existence, subsist

to lock lips: French kiss, kiss, smooch

to look a gift horse in the mouth: be ungrateful, find fault with a gift

to mouth off: rant, sass, sound off, spout

to pay lip service: agree in public while personally dissenting, pretend to agree

to put one’s foot in one’s mouth: blurt, say something tactless; blunder

to seal one’s lips: keep a secret, keep classified

to shoot one’s mouth off: boast, brag, talk indiscreetly

to talk out of both sides of one’s mouth: contradict oneself, lie [usually to please the most people]

to zip one’s lip: hush, say nothing, shut up, stop talking

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2 thoughts on “ 600+ Ways to Describe Lips, Mouths: A Word List for Writers ”

Hi Kathy, Much more interesting and informative than just ‘asking Google!’ Even with a fertile imagination, there are times when it fails to ‘serve up the goods,’ and time can be wasted searching the, hopefully, temporarily diminished brain-box. That’s the fun part of writing, giving your characters suitable characteristic expressions (and to suit the moment…), and various tics etc., Many thanks. Cheers.

Thanks, Joy.

I find interesting ideas at images.google.com. The trick is to create a search that will give appropriate results. Some are hilarious.

Continued success with your writing and poetry!

How to Write Sound Effects in a Script Examples Tips Featured

  • Scriptwriting

How to Write Sound Effects in a Script — Examples & Tips

S ound design is a key element of filmmaking that gives the world of a story more depth. This can be ambient sound from cars passing by or even birds chirping overhead. But what about sounds that literally move a film’s plot along? Filmmakers have used sound effects across all genres to motivate characters’ actions, create suspense, or trigger a sequence of events.

Before making it to the big screen, these important sound effects are written into screenplays as storytelling devices. So how to write sound effects in a script correctly? The answer is much simpler than one might think.

Watch: Diegetic vs. Non-Diegetic Sound Explained

Subscribe for more filmmaking videos like this.

How To Write Sound Effects in a Script

How to write sfx in script.

When learning how to write sounds in text it is important to first note if the sound is important to the plot. If the sound is important to the scene, such as the sound of a gun shot that causes characters to run, then it is typically written in an action line in all capitalized letters. 

When using the StudioBinder screenwriting app , select the “Action” icon in the top toolbar. Write out the action and when the story comes to the sound effect, write the sound effect in all capitalized letters. Because these sound effects fall under the category of diegetic sound , they should be written as onomatopoeia rather than the description of the sound effect itself. For example, rather than writing sounds like “gunshot” write “bang”.

Training Day Script Teardown - Character Analysis Scene - StudioBinder Screenwriting Software

How to write sound effects in a script  •   Read Example

Also note that any SFX in screenplay that has to do with a characters’ dialogue and performance should not be written in the screenplay as a sound effect. For example, if a character is yelling, you do not need to write 

James YELLS at Miranda from the parking lot.

Rather, write the dialogue blocks as normal with exclamation points and allow the actors to interpret the line of dialogue to perform it how they or the director sees fit.

It’s important to remember that sound effects that are important to the script, such as plot points or setting elements, should be formatted this way. Learning how to write sound effects in a script is a necessary tool for any working or aspiring screenwriter. Check out our video in which we break down how to format sound effects and other key elements of a screenplay.

How to write sound effects in a script  •   Subscribe on YouTube  

Sound effects are one of the unique aspects of screenwriting that give the written page a more cinematic experience. Whenever a sound effect is used in your screenplay that affects the plot, be sure to format in this way to draw the reader’s attention to the sound just as it would in the theatre.

How to Write a Montage in a Script 

Screenwriters are tasked with the unique challenge of writing a cinematic story on paper. Sound effects are among the many tools screenwriters have to do this. Another one of these tools is the montage. Whether you know your script will contain a montage or not, knowing how to format one will make you a more prepared and better equipped screenwriter. Learn how to write a montage in screenplay format now.

Up Next: How to Write a Montage in a Script →

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Writing   Face Slappers!

  • Thread starter Queenfisher
  • Start date Nov 26, 2020

Queenfisher

Queenfisher

  • Nov 26, 2020

SailusGebel

SailusGebel

Well-known member.

Just make it black and white morale, that's it. Also, braindead characters are a must for that kind of story.  

SailusGebel said: Just make it black and white morale, that's it. Also, braindead characters are a must for that kind of story. Click to expand...
Queenfisher said: But I heard "good face-slapping" and "bad face-slapping" being thrown-around in NU reviews (apart from "satisfying face-slapping"). Are you saying there are really no gradations to it? Also, are you saying this as a reader of FS or a writer? Click to expand...

Oh, I also forgot about comedy. If you include comedy, any kind of lighthearted, cheerful, perhaps slapstick type of comedy it would work wonders. Try to avoid serious topics and themes.  

Valmond

Queenfisher said: So, okay. I need to make a confession -- I am a face-slapping writer-virgin. I often read face-slapping stories and enjoy them but I have no idea how to write them because I tend to overthink and overdescribe characters too much. Thus, I almost always overwhelm my antagonists with backstories and when the time comes to face-slap them, it's... not as satisfying as I had originally planned. Because they ended up becoming sympathetic characters and now the Protagonist face-slapping them seems kind of assholish on his part? So, what would you say are the quintessential parts of a good face-slapping arc or story? Give me pointers and tricks of how you do it! Or, as readers -- what you most like to see. (Maybe with examples). Thanks! Click to expand...

Nahrenne

Pure and Innocent Maiden~

Assurbanipal_II

Assurbanipal_II

Empress of the four corners of the world, dubstheduke.

Is this like some sort of hidden meaning? What is a 'face slapping' story? Is it like a literal story about people getting slapped? Or does this mean something else.  

AdLeto

DubstheDuke said: Is this like some sort of hidden meaning? What is a 'face slapping' story? Is it like a literal story about people getting slapped? Or does this mean something else. Click to expand...

K5Rakitan

Level 35 👪 💍 Pronouns: she/whore ♀

My husband and I do a lot of physical things to express our emotions, but I don't think I've ever slapped him in the face . . . not that I can remember, anyway. We do more scratching and pinching. Well, I do the scratching because Husband bites his nails and doesn't have anything to scratch with. I think that more physical actions are warranted when one person just won't drop something. You need to draw on the argument for several minutes, have one person pleading for the other to "shut up" or "drop it" or something before the other goes too far and needs to be slapped. The slapper has to feel so emotionally overwhelmed that words won't work anymore. The person being slapped has to be nagging, persistent, or stubborn. At least, that's my take on things.  

lehur

ゞ(シㅇ3ㅇ)っ•♥•Speak fishy, read BL.•♥•

Queenfisher said: Protagonist face-slapping them seems kind of assholish on his part? Click to expand...

Deleted member 29316

Does face-punching count?  

crimson_carnation

crimson_carnation

  • Nov 27, 2020
  • Cersei from GoT? (SHAME, shame! comes to mind first as a face-slapping moment that is satisfying)
  • Light Yagami from Death Note? (that moment when he is being all cool and "I am a god!" -- and Near undercuts him with "Huh? You're just a serial murderer").
  • Gus Fring from Breaking Bad? (the Face/Off moment when Walter White outsmarts him once and for all).
  • From Harry Potter -- Voldemort/Lucius Malfoy/Bellatrix's emasculation in their last scenes (Lucius being pwned by Voldemort, Voldemort being called "Tom" repeatedly when he hates it, Bellatrix being "bitch-slapped" by Mrs Weasley)
  • Thanos from MCU? ("And I am Iron Man!" comeback which feels kinda face-slapping to me?)
  • Any of the final scenes of the antagonists in JJBA?
  • Frieza's defeat from DBZ?
  • Nov 28, 2020
Queenfisher said: Okay! Thanks everyone! Tons of great advice on general antagonists and reader satisfaction ^^. Although I can't say that I don't have even more questions than I did before, lol. Now I am wondering if there is actual difference between just a "revenge story/arc" and "face slapping". Or just the generic "this is your comeuppance for everything you did" moments... For example, out of the popular western fiction, which of these could count as "face-slapping moments"? I do find copying developments and tropes from Western (or otaku) media a bit more convenient because I was raised in them, so ... Since I don't know which ones are known enough to be talked about, I'll just dump them all in a pile and you pick one you think would double as "face-slappy". Cersei from GoT? (SHAME, shame! comes to mind first as a face-slapping moment that is satisfying) But likewise from GoT, Ramsey Bolton's, Joffrey's, and Tywin's final scenes -- do they count as "face-slapping" or not? Light Yagami from Death Note? (that moment when he is being all cool and "I am a god!" -- and Near undercuts him with "Huh? You're just a serial murderer"). Gus Fring from Breaking Bad? (the Face/Off moment when Walter White outsmarts him once and for all). From Harry Potter -- Voldemort/Lucius Malfoy/Bellatrix's emasculation in their last scenes (Lucius being pwned by Voldemort, Voldemort being called "Tom" repeatedly when he hates it, Bellatrix being "bitch-slapped" by Mrs Weasley) Thanos from MCU? ("And I am Iron Man!" comeback which feels kinda face-slapping to me?) Any of the final scenes of the antagonists in JJBA? Frieza's defeat from DBZ? ......I have trouble coming up with other references, but hopefully at least some of these will suffice. I just felt that the definition of "face-slapping" in this thread through many posts became a bit vague. So if I can't understand the definition -- I know I can definitely understand the example. Would these count as face-slapping if I just mimicked them for my "face-slapping" story? Or would they be merely considered normal "revenge" and "Justice!" tropes instead? Would there be a big difference if I were actively trying to change these examples into being as "face-slappy" as possible? Click to expand...
SailusGebel said: Ever heard of the Chinese term 'face'? Face slapping is a trope where mc humiliates(and sometimes literally slaps) the antagonist who usually underestimates the mc. A more easy-going version of usual revenge, where readers get a sense of satisfaction much faster. You can say that a revenge story is homemade food, while face-slapping is junk food. Click to expand...
Nahrenne said: I didn't watch the last 2 eps of Death Note - plus I hated that wimpy L wannabe, so I can't say for that. I've never seen Breaking Bad. For the Harry Potter examples you gave, not really. At least...not to me. Not seen that MCU film. (Isn't a fan of them) I have no idea what JJBA stands for...orz Never watched DBZ. '-' I don't really think Western stuff does it as much since the very aspect of face-slapping - like @SailusGebel said: - it's more of to do with reputation (face) than just straight up insulting/violence. Of course, those two things are sometimes a bonus depending on how black-hearted the target was. >w> <w< Hmm, I can't really think of Western examples... orz X Click to expand...

How To Describe Excitement In Words: A Creative Toolkit for Storytellers

How to describe excitement in words

Excitement —a word teeming with energy, anticipation, and thrill. Whether you're crafting a scene in a novel, scripting a moment in a film , or describing an event in a blog post, capturing the essence of excitement can be a delightful challenge.

This guide is full of tips and techniques to convey excitement in your storytelling, making every word pulsate with life.

Feel the Buzz: Understanding Excitement

Excitement is more than just a feeling; it's a cocktail of emotions, producing adrenaline and sending our hearts racing.

It's the anticipation in the air before a surprise birthday party, the rush of adrenaline at the start of a new job, or the glee of experiencing an unexpected, positive outcome.

Imagine your character or subject in these situations, and tap into the energy they exude.

Paint with Words: Creative Writing Techniques

When it comes to creative writing, the right words can transform a static scene into a dynamic spectacle.

To describe excitement, think beyond the usual and obvious. Use many adjectives and vivid imagery to evoke the senses and emotions.

Describe the body language of your character—perhaps a broad grin, racing heart, or other physical manifestations of their joy.

Example : Instead of saying "He was excited about the surprise party," say "His heart was a drumbeat, pounding out rhythms of exhilaration as he stepped into the room, eyes wide with the sheer thrill of the unexpected."

The Spectrum of Excitement: Different Contexts

Excitement can manifest in various forms—eager anticipation, extreme happiness, or even enthusiasm for life's simple pleasures. Each context demands a unique set of words:

Surprise Party : Captivate your audience with descriptions of gleeful whispers and conspiratorial glances among the crowd, building up to the moment of exuberant outbursts.

New Job : Convey the eagerness and hope with which a person approaches this new chapter, their imagination brimming with possibilities.

Achievement : Describe the delight and exhilaration of achieving a long-sought goal, the sense of being on seventh heaven.

The Power of Body Language and Expressions

Sometimes, the strongest feelings are conveyed without words. A character's enthusiasm might be shown through their energy, the spark in their eyes, or the passionate way they talk about their interests.

A smile that lights up the room, laughter that fills the air, or even the anticipation in their stance can speak volumes about their inner emotions.

Crafting the Perfect Scene: Example Scenarios

Let's dive into a couple of example scenarios to illustrate how to weave excitement into your narrative effectively:

Event Announcement : "The crowd hushed, a collective breath held in anticipation. Then, with the revelation, a wave of cheers erupted, each person's face alight with the glee of shared excitement."

Character Reaction : "Upon hearing the news , Maya's response was instantaneous. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears of joy, a laugh escaping her that was more music than sound—a pure expression of exuberance."

Engage Your Readers: Making Excitement Contagious

The goal is to make your readers feel the excitement themselves. Use adjectives and descriptions that draw them into the moment, making them imagine they're part of the event or story. When your characters are thrilled, your audience should be too.

Talk about the Context : Set the scene in a way that builds anticipation.

Describe Physical Reactions : Mention the adrenaline, the sense of rush, or the eagerness in their steps.

Use Dynamic Language : Words like pumped, thrilled, or exuberant add energy and movement to your writing.

Conclusion: Celebrating the Joy of Storytelling

Describing excitement is an art form, inviting readers to feel, see, and experience the world through your words.

It's about painting with the palette of human emotion, using context, body language, and creative writing techniques to bring your stories to life.

So the next time you sit down to write, remember: the power to evoke excitement lies not just in what happens, but in how you describe it.

Let your words dance with delight and eagerness, and watch as your stories unfold with unparalleled enthusiasm and passion.

how to describe a slap in creative writing

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NigellaStory88

NigellaStory88 Banned

Writing sound effects.

Discussion in ' Word Mechanics ' started by NigellaStory88 , Jan 18, 2018 .

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); Just wondering how do you write sound effects such as a clothing being torn, etc?  

NiallRoach

NiallRoach Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); I'd just describe the action, most times. I think most people would find anything approaching Batman-esque POW, ZAP risible.  

Cave Troll

Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); I write war so my guns don't go bang or pop. Though for some things like under-mount grenade launchers go thoomph, and rail guns give off a loud crack. Though I don't know what the sound of fabric ripping would sound like... How would you describe the sound of tearing cloth?  

Mink

Mink Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); Sometimes writing the action can be enough, but if you like to write out sounds, you can grab a thesaurus and/or dictionary to help with descriptions. I like to write out what different sounds sound like (usually not in a pow! or wham! sense unless it's something like " Smack! He rubbed his head where it had collided with the wall, grumbling beneath his breath."). I use descriptors the most like "gritty asphalt" or "the pinging of pebbles". Similar things can create the sound of an object without relying on sound effects.  
googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); Mink said: ↑ Sometimes writing the action can be enough, but if you like to write out sounds, you can grab a thesaurus and/or dictionary to help with descriptions. I like to write out what different sounds sound like (usually not in a pow! or wham! sense unless it's something like " Smack! He rubbed his head where it had collided with the wall, grumbling beneath his breath."). I use descriptors the most like "gritty asphalt" or "the pinging of pebbles". Similar things can create the sound of an object without relying on sound effects. Click to expand...
googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); Thanks. Been trying to figure this thing out for ages  

GingerCoffee

GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

how to describe a slap in creative writing

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); Sometimes you need the sound if the action goes unseen. I'm big on using lists for onomatopeia. This one is an excellent compilation.  
googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); GingerCoffee said: ↑ Sometimes you need the sound if the action goes unseen. I'm big on using lists for onomatopeia. This one is an excellent compilation. Click to expand...

newjerseyrunner

newjerseyrunner Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2022

how to describe a slap in creative writing

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); I would not use onomatopoeia, I would simply say that there was a tearing sound. Your reader knows what that is.  

Bosco

Bosco Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); Well since we're on the subject, how do describe flavors? My 11 year-old son claims it's easy since there's only three sensations on the tongue, but he's such a little smart-ass I can't really trust him on this.  
googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); Bosco said: ↑ Well since we're on the subject, how do describe flavors? My 11 year-old son claims it's easy since there's only three sensations on the tongue, but he's such a little smart-ass I can't really trust him on this. Click to expand...
googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); newjerseyrunner said: ↑ I would not use onomatopoeia, I would simply say that there was a tearing sound. Your reader knows what that is. Click to expand...
googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); Bosco said: ↑ ...My 11 year-old son claims it's easy since there's only three sensations on the tongue, but he's such a little smart-ass I can't really trust him on this. Click to expand...

makrothymia

makrothymia New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); Maybe it depends on the genre and the room that you have for descriptions, metaphors or similes. But if you have that room and if you have the ideas, it can be quite interesting. A description of the situation often causes an acoustic image in the readers ear, which is very individual and depends on his personal experience: “His cough reminded me of an old rusty horn” or “When the wind stroke the leaves, the forest began to whisper.”  
googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); I especially like the wind stroked leaves and whispering forest @makrothymia .  

Lew

Lew Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); I agree, if the sound is a common one, just describe the action. However in one scene in the E&D, the ship was firing "automatic" six-foot torsion crossbow ballistae, which were cocked by a ratcheted windlass in the rear, until fully cocked, the next turned dropped a bolt in place from a magazine, and the next crank fired it. So I described the sound as "ratchety-ratchety-thunk, ratchety-ratchety thunk" as there were two automatic polyboli in operation amidships, There were also two single shooters at the bow and stern, also cocked by ratcheted windlass, firing fiery incendiaries in a night action. It might have gotten a bit noisy,m though not by modern standards!  

Iain Aschendale

Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

how to describe a slap in creative writing

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_41776a65eafb8e387073458a64ac89df'); }); I read a bit of semi-erotica years ago that referred to "the soft unfocused ripping of silk."  

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Creative Writing: Slap

Wild eyed and in a panic I yelled out that I was a fuck slut. "I can't hear you bitch!" his thrust became even harder slapping against me filling the small elevator with my screaming and the slapping sound of him fucking me. "I' am a. Fuck slut!" Slap! "Ah gawd! Ima fuck slut!" Slap! Slap! Slap! "IM NOTHING BUT A FUCK SLUT! I repeated his command screaming it at the top of my lungs over and over again so that the entire building could hear me. That was it my eyes rolled back and I felt myself tighten and explore all over his dick Cumming harder than I have ever came in my entire life. My whole body went limp as it could being trapped against this old black giant as he continued his assault on my body. For a moment it was all

Creative Writing: Guess What?

Which was the reason why I hated Eros. I hated that I loved him. I hated that his one glance on me could lift up my mood instantly. For the last six years, ever since Mom and I moved to New York, I have been madly in love with the most unreachable guy in our school.

Creative Writing: Tricky Dick

Tricky Dick -- after a string of flops and vicious scandals -- emerges victorious, giving dual peace signs. The exoneration was full. The emotion was rampant. The Nixon Halloween mask looked phenomenal. Toward the left of the photograph, you’ll see Lee the eternal. Bruce was among the most dense of peachicks, with tough abs that wouldn’t behave. He was also a nonsense catapultist -- a real deal Republican: A lover of money, greed, and wealth beyond the Asian system of measurement. He was there to support Nichard Dixon, the vilified. It was a such a cool day. I remember when my daddy saw this on Tee Vee, he wept -- wept like a man. And then he flushed his troubles clean -- rinsed ‘em clean -- with the golden saver, the unreal batter of Coors

Creative Writing: The Plague

“Some people say I was lucky to survive, other will say I deserved it for the choice I made. I’m here to say I was lucky, it’s never ok to say your life isn’t worth living even at your worst you can always look forward tomorrow will come and if you put your mind to it you’ll see that anything is possible.” – Stephen McGregor Professional Paralympian

Personal Narrative-Zara

“Wow, she's talkative, you got a good one this time, cuz.” His voice was grinding on me and all I wanted to do was smack him.

Creative Writing: The Assassination

Back in the main level of the factory, Wolf and Fox find Hawk lying on the ground, pale and unresponsive, his bulletproof vest next to him and the edges of a red stain showing around a wad of gauze. A soldier that Fox assumes is N-Unit's medic kneels next to him, along with Snake and Coyote. The three medics are talking frantically among themselves. The rest of N-Unit hovers nervously nearby; the rest of H-Unit is nowhere to be seen. Dust particles dance through the beams of sunlight from the holes where windows used to be, giving the whole scene a strangely dreamy air.

Creative Writing: The Fast And The Furriest

“Yes I am dad.” Kevin screaming at the top of his lungs,” Mr.Cromwell needs to go!” While Howie and Kevin argued ,Cromwell was over there eating Kevin’s breakfast, waffles. It was too late, Howie and Kevin turned around ,the waffles were gone.Kevin and Howie went straight over to doggy daycare. Cromwell had stayed 1 hour knowing he wanted to leave.

Bergeron Monologue

I pushed the arm in front of me even deeper into the guy’s throat. It was much harder than it had been the first time and I felt his Adam's apple push into my skin.

Carina Alternate Ending

He complied, moving his hands up to her shoulders, gripping them, he rammed in and out of her harder than he ever had, but worried he might hurt her. Yet as he felt her orgasm grip him and Joan screamed out his name as she’d never done before, he figured it couldn’t be so bad. With a few more deep thrusts, he found his own release.

Elizabethan Monologue

“If you can fuck, you can fight.” I grabbed the head of his dick, bent over, and kissed it.

Creative Writing: SLAM ! Chipper

Chipper kissed his world goodbye. Goodbye to Mrs. Larson, the friendly squirrel running Fantasy Pastries who especially loved the chewy things called Gummy Bears. Goodbye to Stacy and Kaylee, the neighbors across the street. Bye to everyone. Bye to sweet, sweet home. Bye to his life. Bye to...Aspolia. This thought sent a chill down Checker’s little body. Down he went, his eyes still on the grand civilization far above him. Down, down, down until...SLAM! Chipper’s tiny body abruptly met the hard surface of the dry earth beneath him as the air escaped his lungs forcefully out between his gritted teeth because of the impact of the rocky soil against his figure. The force of him impacting the ground seemed to have shattered the quiet and peace in Berph. Dust flew everywhere over the dry, dead earth, and Checker, fortunately, was alive, struggling to keep himself from alive from the harsh landing. He inhaled the harsh air around him, eyes closed, body sore. He coughed and sputtered, struggled to stay awake. Then, he fell unconscious.

Creative Writing: Dirty Dan The Cattle

He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a bag of tobacco and some rolling paper. Holding a piece of rolling paper in one hand, he carefully poured a little tobacco onto it. In one quick movement he rolled the paper and tobacco into a perfect cylinder. He put the sack of tobacco and paper back into his pocket and took out a match. He scratched it to existence on the sole of his shoe and used the flame to the tip of the cigarette. He puffed into it and tossed the match away. "Why are you guarding the pass?" William asked again. "information is around that Dirty Dan the cattle thief is gonna try to steal some of my cattle. He patted an imaginary holster at his side, "And I

Ernest Hemingway And Selkie's Narrative Fiction

“And what did I not understand? We enjoyed intense sex. I understood the pleasure yer body gave and received.” His wicked smile said much more than his words.

Barry's Monologue

We don’t find many of you around here.” He pulled out of me. I reached for his cock. He straddled my face and put the head of his cock on my lips and exploded on my face. The guy beneath me pushed and I rolled off of him and onto my stomach. He continued fucking me in the ass. He got me into a doggie position and pulled my long hair back. He rocked in me and moaned and pulled on my hair.

Creative Writing: Slamming The Homerun

“It’s gonna happen this year.” My father knew I could do it, well he was the coach so isn’t it his job to to believe in me? Either way I was going to do it. Everyone says a bat can’t do it for you, but having a new bat sure did help. I sort of had faith in myself. It can’t be that hard can it be? Just hit the bat with the ball, and don’t have all your weight on your front leg you will lose your power, there are a lot of other complicated things with batting, but it comes when the time is right.

Quotes From The Bridge Journal Entry

I looked up at him my eyes burning from his cum and more tears starting to well up as he pushed his hardening dick down my throat then almost out.

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How do you write a slap sound?

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The sound of a slap is often described as a crack, in comparison to the sound of a whip being cracked. As a creative writer, you are free to invent your own description, however. You can also just call it a slap.

You could try your local Home Depot or Lowe's to find a wide assortment of cleaning tools. I'm not really sure how an electric hand dryer is considered a tool but you could start by asking there.

I think you just did!

Add your answer:

imp

What is an onomatopoeia for slap?

Well, since onomatopoeia are sound words, slap would be the word you're looking for. If you respond with the sentence you're trying to put it in i could show you how it should look.

What does slap you silly mean?

It means to slap you continuously, like to slap repeatedly.

How do you write a sucking sound?

Which hurts more a pimp slap or a normal slap.

a pimp slap hurts more then a normal slap the reason it hurts more is because when some pimp slaps u they are wearing a ring and that is why it is called a pimp slap

How do you write out the sound you make when exhaling deeply?

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Expressing anger in writing is all about striking the right chord without losing your melody. Here is how to show anger in writing. Learn more.

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I think for me, I want to be able to envision a good face slap, so I like details! Such as knowing how the face slap felt; was it a crisp slap? A hard slap? A cold slap? A head-turning slap? Did it cause the other person's cheek to burn?

Writers Write is a writing resource. Use this comprehensive list of words that describe sounds when you write.

How to describe body language and gestures in writing may seem simple, but I find that when I'm in the middle of writing a scene, sometimes I draw a blank! It's easy to wind up with characters who are nodding and shrugging all the time. Hopefully this list will help make writing body language easier.

It's not a playful or deliberately hurtful slap. It's somewhere in the middle - irritated. Considering the character's personalities, it's rather a gentle gesture for them but shocking enough to say 'get ahold of yourself!'

The best thing about this online world of ours is you never know who you are going to meet. I don't know about you, but one of the areas I struggle with is writing a character's pain in a way that is raw, realistic…but not just "one-note." So when I crossed paths with a paramedic-turned-writer, […]

I wanted to make a list about how to describe anger in writing because I know a lot of writers get stuck on it, whether they're describing frustration, annoyance, or flat-out rage. Even when …

You're writing a story, you've chosen a setting and developed all of your characters, but now it's time for the first big fight scene of the book. So, what's the best way to capture all the action? Fight scenes can be tricky territory for writers; they need to be action-packed without slowing down the story's drama, which is why we're here to help. Read on, and we'll show you how ...

In this article, we will explore the different ways to describe sadness in creative writing. We will discuss the emotional spectrum of characters, the physical manifestations of sadness, and the language and dialogue used to express it. We'll also look at expert views on emotion and provide unique examples of describing sadness.

While all writing, and what makes it good, is typically subjective, what you can find are similarities and "rules" that primarily make for an exciting fight scene.

Writers Write is your one-stop writing resource. Use these cheat sheets to help you show a character's state of mind when you're writing body language.

You really can't go wrong using basic colors for your skin descriptions. It's actually what many people prefer and works best for most writing. Personally, I tend to describe my characters using a combo of basic colors + modifiers, with mentions of undertones at times. I do like to veer into more creative descriptions on occasion.

Yes, please add some context, and we could give you much more specific suggestions. I left an answer, but don't be shocked if people think this is "asking what to write" or "help with rewriting a sentence."

I'm trying to describe somebody falling asleep from exhaustion, in first person. I'm currently using a longer, detailed description, but is that the best way? Never had a few moments deliberation

Your first mental image when thinking about lips or mouths might be a passionate kiss. Percy Bysshe Shelley said, "Soul meets soul on lovers' lips." However, lips and mouths are more than kissing (or eating) machines. This post provides hundreds of ways to describe them in creative writing and poetry.

For example, rather than writing sounds like "gunshot" write "bang". How to write sound effects in a script • Read Example. Also note that any SFX in screenplay that has to do with a characters' dialogue and performance should not be written in the screenplay as a sound effect. For example, if a character is yelling, you do not need ...

Face-slapping is basically destroying the image of the slapped person, and that's what humiliates the person, not an actual slap or a one-liner. But the feeling of getting stripped of his social standing\position\respect.

When it comes to creative writing, the right words can transform a static scene into a dynamic spectacle. To describe excitement, think beyond the usual and obvious. Use many adjectives and vivid imagery to evoke the senses and emotions. Describe the body language of your character—perhaps a broad grin, racing heart, or other physical ...

Sometimes writing the action can be enough, but if you like to write out sounds, you can grab a thesaurus and/or dictionary to help with descriptions. I like to write out what different sounds sound like (usually not in a pow! or wham! sense unless it's something like " Smack!

Creative Writing: Slap. Wild eyed and in a panic I yelled out that I was a fuck slut. "I can't hear you bitch!" his thrust became even harder slapping against me filling the small elevator with my screaming and the slapping sound of him fucking me. "I' am a.

The sound of a slap is often described as a crack, in comparison to the sound of a whip being cracked. As a creative writer, you are free to invent your own description, however.

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UUEE MOSCOW SHEREMETYEVO X V2 DEMO is a new scenery of UUEE Sheremetyevo airport in Moscow, Russia, fully compatible with FSX/FSX:SE/P3Dv1/P3Dv2/P3Dv3/P3Dv4. This product is a fully functional DEMO version of the commercial payware product. Most objects are modelled as in the full version but covered with low resolution textures, non-animated jetways and generally much less details. Using this free demo ensures no problems with online (VATSIM, IVAO, multiplayer etc.) flying in case some users use the payware scenery and some don't. Sheremetyevo International Airport (SVO/UUEE) is an international airport located in Khimki, Moscow Oblast.Sheremetyevo serves as the main hub for Russian flag carrier Aeroflot and its branch Rossiya Airlines, Nordwind Airlines or Ural Airlines. The product is equipped with an automatic installer, which means that the scenery will be automatically added to the Flight Simulator Scenery Library. Please uninstall all previous versions of this airport you may have installed before. Please also make sure that no duplicated AFCAD files are installed. Enjoy your virtual flying with Drzewiecki Design!

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Gäste, sind herzlich willkommen, können aber nur mit einem Gastgeber in den Club kommen. Als Gastgeber gilt das Clubmitglied, das die Gastmitgliedschaft beantragt. Tages- und Wochenkarten sind in der Kantine zu lösen, darüber hinaus nur über Antrag an den Vorstand. Gäste können selbst keine Gäste mitbringen.

Wenn Sie den UYCNs besuchen wollen, ohne von einem Mitglied eingeladen zu sein – etwa, weil Sie sich für eine Mitgliedschaft interessieren, kontaktieren Sie uns bitte unter


1. Für Gäste ist dann eine Gästegebühr zu zahlen, wenn sich der Gast entweder
 a) länger als einen Tag im Club aufhält, dh. an mehreren Tagen in einer ununterbrochenen Reihenfolge (zB Samstag, Sonntag), oder
 b) öfter als dreimal insgesamt in der Saison im Club aufhält, dh. an mehr als 3 Einzeltagen.

2. Die Regelung bedeutet, dass diese „Ersttage“ immer gebührenfrei sind, auch wenn es sich um einen längeren Aufenthalt des Gastes handelt.

3. In diesen Fällen ist vom einladenden Mitglied Gästegebühr zu entrichten. Zum Entrichten dieser Gebühr sind in der Kantine Gästekarten gegen Bezahlung erhältlich, auf denen die Namen des einladenden Mitglieds und des Gastes, sowie Datum des Aufenthalts im Club einzutragen sind. Diese Karte ist während des Aufenthalts des Gastes auf einer entsprechenden Anschlagtafel im Sanitärtrakt sichtbar auszuhängen. Ein Durchschlag verbleibt beim Mitglied.

4. Die Jahresgastmitgliedschaft ist in § 7 Z 5. der Statuten des Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee geregelt.


Tageskarte
Erwachsene: EUR 21.-- Jugend: EUR 10.-- 

Wochenkarte
Erwachsene: EUR 83.-- Jugend: EUR 42.-- 

Jahreskarte
Erwachsene: EUR 800.-- Jugend: EUR 400

Stand 23.09.2018/Studenten mit entsprechendem Studiennachweis jeweils 50% des Erwachsenenbeitrages.

union yacht club neusiedlersee

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  1. UYCNs

    Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee. 11. Aug 2024 von dominic.marsano. Der See rief und etliche kamen. Die einen, um im Rahmen eines Hobie Cat 16-Trainings ihre Kreise zu ziehen und sich seglerisch weiterzuentwickeln, die anderen, um beim Heurigen zur See längsseits zu gehen und einen halbtägigen Zwischenstopp einzulegen.

  2. UYC Neusiedlersee

    UYC Neusiedlersee, Neusiedl am See. 802 likes · 80 talking about this · 420 were here. Segeln ist unsere Leidenschaft, der See die große Liebe. Die daraus resultierende Interessengemeinschaft...

  3. UYCNs

    Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee (UYCNs) Seegelände 4, 7100 Neusiedl am See Postadresse: Seegelände 4, 7100 Neusiedl am See Telefonnummer: Büro, Regattabüro +43 670 / 607 38 87 Öffnungszeiten Sekretariat: Mittwoch - Freitag 9:00 - 15:00 Uhr Bankverbindung: Hypo Bank Burgenland AG IBAN: AT56 5100 0918 1315 1600 BIC: EHBBAT2E email: [email protected] Der UYCNs ist ein gemeinnütziger Verein und ...

  4. UYCNs

    Entdecken Sie den Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee, einen Segelclub in Österreich, der Wettfahrten und Veranstaltungen am Neusiedlersee anbietet.

  5. Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee

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  6. Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee (UYCNs)

    Der Club. Der Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee ist der zweitgrößte Yachtclub Österreichs.Das Clubgelände umfasst etwa vier Hektar und liegt in der Stadtgemeinde Neusiedl am See im Burgenland, am nördlichen Ufer des Neusiedlersees.Der Club hat etwa 550 Mitglieder. Geschichte. Der UYCNs wurde am 17.

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    Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee is a marina in Neusiedl am See, Burgenland.Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee is situated nearby to the marina Segelhafen West and the sports venue Surf- und Segelschule Neusiedl.

  8. EurILCA events website

    The entry shall be paid by bank transfer to Union Yacht Club Neusiedlersee. ... Club Details. Wettfahrtorganisation UYCNs, Seegelände 4, 1011 Neusiedl am See Austria. Email: [email protected] Tel: 0664/2182161. About Neusiedl am See, Austria. Boat Landing Area and Facilities:

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  15. UYCNs

    Position Neusiedl: 47 5561 N 16 4967 E c.47.9268 16.8278 sonnenaufgang:5:44 sonnenuntergang:20:12 Mittag:12:58 Tageslänge:14h 28m

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    Sheremetyevo International Airport (SVO/UUEE) is an international airport located in Khimki, Moscow Oblast.Sheremetyevo serves as the main hub for Russian flag carrier Aeroflot and its branch Rossiya Airlines, Nordwind Airlines or Ural Airlines. The product is equipped with an automatic installer, which means that the scenery will be ...

  18. UYCNs

    gÄsteordnung des union yacht club neusiedlersee 1. Für Gäste ist dann eine Gästegebühr zu zahlen, wenn sich der Gast entweder a) länger als einen Tag im Club aufhält, dh. an mehreren Tagen in einer ununterbrochenen Reihenfolge (zB Samstag, Sonntag), oder b) öfter als dreimal insgesamt in der Saison im Club aufhält, dh. an mehr als 3 ...

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